Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Pregnant Sleep
I look forward
to my daily
horizon
when I'm horizontal
in bed
and my spirit
takes on the vertical
omens of things
to come
unfettered dreaming
my subconscious
coming out of
the clown car
of my brain
a day or more's
worth
of inward rumination
fears I didn't
fully feel
a million remarkable
photos and possibilities
the future
is a horizon
like that, too
peopled
with the most
fantastic
characters
variform
and vagabond
visuals
the gamut
of emotions
making me
wonder
what it'll be like
in a year's time
or after
the brief
or pregnant
sleep
of death
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2018-09-24 13:08
The title caught my eye...
and engaged my brain as a title is supposed to. Your language is good and the rhythm and pattern fit the mood of the theme. I enjoyed taking a trip with you in a vehicle that is born on the crest of a rich imagination! I particularly enjoyed the line: "My subconscious coming out of the clown car of my brain."
Nice work. Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
gregwa8
Mon, 2018-09-24 17:06
thanks, geezer! dreams are
thanks, geezer! dreams are often crazier, more tell-tale than any poem I could think up. so it was fun to write about them. thanks for the encouraging comments
Jackweb
Mon, 2018-09-24 17:38
Wow! I glued on the title...
very captivating...it draws ones attention and i had to take a mental rumination to ascertain what is; ''Pregnant Sleep''. Your poem possesses poetical and figurative expressions. Sir, you have the keys to unlock the beauties of poetry.
Nice work!
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
gregwa8
Mon, 2018-09-24 18:03
thank you, onyinyechi!
thank you, onyinyechi!