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Open House Madness( deicated to Geezer's KILLER LOL)
Welcome!
Come step into my dream
I'm sure you will find
things are not what they seem
Your host is in the kitchen
he has become the main course
the places that are dined on
are his pleasures source
Now what is going on over there?
how many people can fit in one chair?
arms legs assorted body parts
hard to tell where one ends
and one starts
Baby kisses
from neck to spine
linger,linger please take your time
You say it's ok dear
just go along
Ardor and emotions
out of sync with time
when I awaken
what will I find
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-15 06:50
teddy
thank you lol I guess you are all set then
Chrys
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Gracy
Tue, 2020-07-14 18:23
Dear lynn, funny poem. Great
Dear lynn, funny poem. Great title. Not altogether sure of your meaning, perhaps others will understand it better than me. I'll return later. All the best, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-15 06:51
Gracy
Just a strange dream I had and thought it an appropriate Killer poem
Chrys
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Lavender
Tue, 2020-07-14 21:52
Open House Madness
Hi, Chrys,
This is quite the open house - I love your first line! I really do wonder what you will find when you awaken...creepy fun!
Thank you!
L
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-15 06:53
lavender
lol glad you had fun ready this to answer you question all was quite and calm as it always is when I woke up
Chrys
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Geezer
Tue, 2020-07-14 23:19
I love it...
We are flattered beyond belief.
I'm hesitant about trying to adjust anything in this one.
But, I think that it could use a bit.
If I may; without sounding ungrateful...
Here is my version:
Welcome!
Come step into my dream
I'm sure that you will find
things are not what they seem
Your host is in the kitchen
he has become the main course
The places that are dined in
are his pleasure's source
Now what is going on there?
How many people can fit in a chair?
Arms and legs, assorted body parts
hard to tell where one ends
and where another starts
Baby kisses
from neck to spine
linger, linger please take your time
you say it's okay dear
just go along
Ardor and emotions
out of sync with time
When I awaken
what will I find?
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-15 06:56
Gee
thanks I'm glad Killer approves lol
I used the word "on" to add to the confusion of the whole thing
if you suggested any other changes I do not see them
Chrys
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raj
Wed, 2020-07-15 07:40
Hi Chrys
It was good to read this one...had fun reading it..
Be well..
raj (sublime_ocean)
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-15 10:12
raj
thanks much glad you enjoyed it
Chrys
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