Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Radius
I see my dream in plain view
I only watch
We have our arms
We will not raise them
No one is dreaming any further
The light has stopped flickering beside me
It must mean the thoughts have ceased
No one will reach for the dream.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2012-02-17 02:24
ideas are good,
but lacks poetic qualities. A list of lines. Try some an enjambment and for more musicality of language. Assonance, consonance, even rhyme.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Search
Fri, 2012-02-17 03:47
Thanks
Thanks for the tips. Did you ever figure out what N.A.Y.A stands for?
weirdelf
Fri, 2012-02-17 03:57
No, and I didn't even try hard.
Tricks are for kids.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry