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$ 80,000 Dollar Machine
found to be idle
a sold out recycle,
80,000 dollar machine
want to take over
like a George Orwell union
plagued for momernts to pledge
captivated by a smile
take your picture taking over
moment regarding their puzzle
Stop & Shop
gentle with laughter stare to unfold it together...
extreme cases of spills occur,
moments gone by...
beyond
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2019-10-01 10:34
I don't know...
where this is supposed to be going. After reading and re-reading over and over, I'm thinking that maybe this $80,000 machine is a security system that keeps an eye on the aisles for insurance purposes?
I had great difficulty in deciding how to interpret this one. If you want people to comment/critique your work, you must make a clear effort to connect the work to the reader. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
chevyvent
Tue, 2019-10-01 13:47
Thanks you have the right idea
very nice interpretation...?
Mario Vitale
Geezer
Mon, 2019-10-07 17:23
I'm not sure...
that many readers wish to work so hard to unravel the meaning of a poem. Try reading your work as though you have no clue as to what it means, then try making an obvious reference to something familiar to the readers. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.