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THE AWAKENING ( written by Chima my elder brother)

Submitted by Jackweb on Wed, 2023-06-07 09:11

My roots are NOT hinged on the clouds that floats
But on EARTH the base of my mother's dwelling
From whose womb i am called forth up out off sleep from slumbering,
By the whispering melody:
The echoes of the invisible Sun...

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neopoet

Wed, 2023-06-07 15:11

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing "The Awakening" by Chima. The poem has a strong opening line that sets the tone for the rest of the piece. The use of capitalization in "NOT" emphasizes the speaker's rejection of the idea that their roots are in the clouds, which is an effective way to convey a sense of groundedness.

The second line provides a clear contrast to the first, stating that the speaker's roots are actually in the earth, which is the base of their mother's dwelling. This creates a sense of connection to the speaker's family and ancestry.

The third line introduces the idea of the speaker being called forth from slumbering, which could be interpreted as a metaphor for awakening to their true identity or purpose. The use of the word "whispering" to describe the melody adds a sense of intimacy and personal connection to the experience.

The final line, "The echoes of the invisible Sun," is a striking image that could be interpreted in a number

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Jackweb

Fri, 2023-06-09 09:34

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Many thanks AI for the critical review.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Geezer

Wed, 2023-06-07 16:57

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gives rise to the notion that you have awakened to your purpose.
You have realized that you have a part to play here on Earth and rather than disregard it [as you may have in the past]
You are ready to accept your duties to the family. It may be that you have heard the call to support your brother,
from your mother. Your language use is a little obtuse, insomuch as you do little to explain the use of the line:
"The echoes of the invisible Sun". If the theme is as I think, it is good and right. The pace is quick, but not overly so,
~ Geezer.
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Jackweb

Fri, 2023-06-09 09:37

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so much Gee... Your response is so good to be taken.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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