Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Lost memories
I sincerely want
to remember you,
but every time I try,
I get only void,
then all my memories
are left
frameless.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Ian.T
Wed, 2013-07-24 18:54
Rula
A message of few words,
That you want to remember someone
But they are hidden by emptiness
This can affect all memories
If the others are judged by this one.
I say:-
Remember all that cross your path,
as they all carry a message from your maker.
The lessons to be learned cannot be learned alone.
Though they are for you only
How can you measure the value of things if you walk alone.
Yours Ian.T
A good write in so few words well done..
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:08
Ian
You're absolutely right. Remembering what others teach you is the best way to remember them. Then they'll be always well remembered . Thanks for the enlightenment.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
lonlyhrtsclub13
Wed, 2013-07-24 21:12
rula
A simple and elegant write...good job
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:05
Carrie
Thanks for dropping by and your kind words. Any suggestion for a better title would be appreciated.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
lonlyhrtsclub13
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:12
If you are looking
for interesting titles, you can use an online thesauras and for example, type in the word "memory." Synonyms will come up and perhaps one will strike you as an appropriate title. I use it all the time. Instead of using the word "visitor" for my one poem, I found "Visitant." Just a suggestion....
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:18
I use them too
I wanted something like lost and found "futile" but didn't think it well fits with memory, does it?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
lonlyhrtsclub13
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:20
I dont like
futile, your poem is elegant and simple, the title should be as well :)
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:58
I think
I shall keep it simple too! Thanks for the thoughts.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
lonlyhrtsclub13
Fri, 2013-07-26 09:05
:)
:)
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
weirdelf
Wed, 2013-07-24 23:40
frameless pictures
jumbled, lost, unsorted, un-displayed,
what a beautiful, powerful expression!
I love concise effective, affective poetry like this.
Not sure about the title. This poem is anything but sappy.
How about "Entropy"?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 08:10
Hello jess
I like the word "Entropy" , a new one for me, yet it doesn't describe my memories
the way I want it. I admit I wasn't happy with sappy either that's why I would appreciate any alternative or I would however use one of the words you've used in your comment; "lost" or "unsorted" as they well fit there.
Appreciate the suggestion and the thoughts. Thank you.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
wesley snow
Fri, 2013-07-26 10:34
After reading the work...
... in your collection (which I now have time to play with, by the way) this is beyond minimalist. It isn't my cup of tea, but I agree with Jess that it is succinct. Is it someone specific or fiction?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Rula
Fri, 2013-07-26 19:24
I thought I could go with
I thought I could go with this before you could manage your pillows:)
This isn't fiction.There's always someone nice to awake my sleeping muse.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Rula
Sat, 2013-07-27 02:46
Does
a sonnet satisfy? :) I shall post one now and wish to hear your thoughts.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
mand
Sat, 2013-07-27 04:16
Hi Rula
I like the simplicity of this one! and I felt the frustration - very effective in getting the emotion across.
Well done.
Love Mand xxxxx
Rula
Sat, 2013-07-27 08:28
Mand
Thanks for the visit. Appreciated !!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=