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NEW DAWN

Submitted by Jackweb on Sun, 2022-12-04 05:08

the rough night
gave birth to
a virgin morn
joy spreads
every heart

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

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Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
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Comments

Rula

Sun, 2022-12-04 07:17

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I am a fan of succinctness and this is an ideal example.I would make a timy rearrangement for a smoother read in lines 2 and 3

the rough night
gave birth to
[a] virgin morn

Other than that, I have to say I really enjoyed the scene you've drawn with your quill for us.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Jackweb

Sun, 2022-12-04 07:22

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Beautifully arranged! Much appreciated Rula!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Geezer

Sun, 2022-12-04 09:30

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with my fellow poets on this score! Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Jackweb

Sun, 2022-12-04 09:47

Jackweb's picture

Much appreciated Gee...!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Candlewitch

Sun, 2022-12-04 10:29

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(did I spell it right? if not I apologize)

I love it and agree with the others....your poem is sharp, crisp and hits the mark!

*hugs, Cat

*
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Jackweb

Sun, 2022-12-04 11:50

Jackweb's picture

So much Candlewitch for your feedback.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Jackweb

Sun, 2022-12-04 11:52

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Is spelt: ONYINYECHI!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Candlewitch

Sun, 2022-12-04 11:56

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I will try really hard to remember that!. seasons Greetings to you.

* big hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Jackweb

Sun, 2022-12-04 13:40

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Same here!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Lavender

Mon, 2022-12-05 19:14

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Hi, Jackweb,
I will join in with the others - this is great. I do wonder, though - "rough" is a rather tame word for something that preceded such an amazing dawn that spread joy to every heart. I have the sense that the night was almost unbearable in some way...
L

Jackweb

Mon, 2022-12-05 22:15

Jackweb's picture

Appreciate your reading and airing your view. Thank you so much for stopping by.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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Rosewood Apothecary

Tue, 2022-12-06 14:22

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That is all. May we all experience new dawns

Tim

Jackweb

Tue, 2022-12-06 16:01

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Amen to that.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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