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obviously
not everything in reality is obvious so many hidden people plants animals
insects things not directly in your vision birds insects in bushes
in a big city people sitting or walking in corners or a car blocks the vision
of two people kissing or walking reading a book
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
i hope you can sense perceive this world
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Seren
Sat, 2022-10-01 05:44
Dear Victor
Nice to meet you, i really liked this one, it has elements that touch on the profound if you sit and read it over and over and over as I did. I am an old member and I've not been around for a while, so I am just reading and enjoying the poetry tonight. Thanks so much for sharing this one.
I expect as i settle back in I will endeavour to provide much more comprehensive feedback.
Kindest Regards
Seren
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats