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SURREAL
PART OR MOST OF MY LIFE I HAVE FELT KIND OF OUT OF PLACE.
LIKE WHEN I WAS A CHILD IN THE DEPARTMENT STORE WITH MY MOTHER'
CONFUSING PEOPLE WITH MANIKENS. SPRING IN THE COUNTRY' THE LONELY YET
AWESOME WATER SPRINGS. IN GRADE SCHOOL I WAS PETRIFIED AND DAYDREAMING
ONCE IN JUNIOR HIGH AT A HEALTH CLASS DAYDREAMING' DRAWING PICTURES OF FUTURE CARS' THE TEACHER FOUND IT SHOWED IT IN FRONT OF CLASS THEY ALL LAUGHED IN COLLEGE I RELATED MUCH BETTER EVEN THOUGH I WAS GOING FULL TIME
AND I WAS FORTY YEARS OLD.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I HOPE PEOPLE CAN PERCEIVE FEEL THIS
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2022-11-05 10:52
I would...
relate much better if you did not SHOUT. Using all caps makes it very difficult to read. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Jackweb
Sun, 2022-11-06 09:39
Exactly
I agree with Geezer! The moment I saw the body of the poem all capped I ignore it.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Jackweb
Sun, 2022-11-06 09:39
Exactly
I agree with Geezer! The moment I saw the body of the poem all capped I ignored it.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb