Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Trip down memory lane (Vanishing naivety)

The child in me couldn't find you before
my transformation into all your faces…
You made my poor heart humbly adore
the great words of centuries-old traces.

My headphones are a bait for grayness
borrowed from your deceptive smiles.
The soul sells its color to see your illness
but he cannot bear more than holy lies…

My morning put on your other lonely song
and learned to sing only for his cold eyes…
She isn't part of the opinion and the throng
when the thought of you instantly cries.

Now she is just an example of your game,
doomed not to fall in love with our fire again.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
If we hadn't made mistakes in the past, we wouldn't know many life lessons now. - The idea that helped me end a bout of depression.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content

Comments

just curious, is this an english translation? i'm finding it hard to grasp some parts of it, maybe i'm just being slow-witted as always. anyways, "my morning put on your other lonely song" struck a chord in me. maybe i'll sleep it up and reread again when i wake up haha! cheers.

It is written in English in the original, but I am only 14 years old - my knowledge of English is not at the highest level. But I'm glad it managed to touch your soul. Maybe it's just that the metaphors confuse the reader a little.

Dari Georgieva

author comment

oh i see. i'm sorry if it came out wrong, i didn't mean anything bad at it. i am just really slow sometimes and i am not a native english speaker myself but the way you are able to write a poem and being such a young age, you are already way better at me at the same age. keep up the good work. the caliber of your writing is exceedingly good for your age, you have lots and lots of potential!

Don't worry, your question was perfectly logical. Thank you very much for your kind words, I appreciate it! :)

Dari Georgieva

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.