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All She Had to Say Was No
The wind gasped a final breath
like a devil reeling, fresh out of hell.
The grains of sand lay reticent
and fought with laziness
as they awaited new instructions.
Her eyes turned from green to yellow to red
as the weeds forgot how to tumble.
My skin began to char
as I waited at her stoplight
and the cannibals formed a buffet line;
each paying $6.95 for a piece of flesh
and three sides.
She gave one of them their money back
because they found a piece of my hair in their meal.
And me?
Well, I scrapped up the leftovers,
gathered up my bones
and hoped I didn't hit any more stoplights
on the way home.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
brittle light
Thu, 2014-12-18 04:25
Hey Scott
bet you won't ask her that again!
nice work, really nice. bright clear images came alive...impressive
I enjoy your imagination, and the tone you apply..."Man, you're cool"
Al
eightmenout
Sun, 2014-12-21 10:28
Thanks Al
Glad you enjoy my work.
Scott
Rula
Thu, 2014-12-18 15:14
Scott
I agree with Al. This is lovely with a special touch. If you 'd only tell what inspires this, because curiosity has killed the cat. :)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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eightmenout
Sun, 2014-12-21 10:30
Rula
Glad you enjoyed the piece. It was inspired by a long, drawn out break up that occurred years ago.
thanks,
Scott