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p r e m o n o s h u n z
hours of day
held beneath
sweet nail
the sterling
scars
on hoops
knuckle nicotine
stains
fingerprinted
zips
tailored scheme
club smudge
ink
from satin linnings
tired calves
on long legged
gazelle shuffles
shadowlands
in nightfall
sitting rooms
a voice crawling
beneath
the velvet entrophy
of intricate ink
trophy
glimmers
in shower states
and demarcations
lean meanders
of sanity
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2013-09-09 20:45
You always...
seem to be able to bring me visions of a kind that intrigue me. I never know what to expect; except that they will
bring something from the back of my mind, to the fore and I will enjoy it. Thanks, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Esker
Tue, 2013-09-10 12:56
Im not good enough to be able to capture a feeling
not like those I admired most...
too far about the corner...
Im here not leaving the light
but away there
at the edge
where the glitter lights are
I can sense it
blur it down
sketch it out
but its never perfect
some could sit and write
I remember them in passing
at college..
in coffee shops
not believing in themselves
turning that over to
follow trades and degrees
others
Someone was asking me at
the door where I was facing the
lake between canyon condos
valley view
"You are looking at something"
if I could describe that
well..
that would be something...
thank you for your comment
Geezer
..
Bringing it to the fore...
loved
Tue, 2013-09-10 13:00
but ur
exquisiteshun
like noneshun
ur more creative
than anyone could ever imagineshun
loved
Geezer
Wed, 2013-09-11 20:12
I'd say...
that you are good enough to bring me those pieces that you see and then leave the rest for me to fill in. That is one of the things that is so special about your work. Each person that reads your words, takes their own meaning from them but, you supply the most common, everyday visions with such finesse that we finish them eagerly and then say; "I know exactly what you mean! LOL ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Esker
Thu, 2013-09-12 13:32
Happiness is being recieved...
when I wanted to become a poet
and landed on the net in 2004
I never thought I would be
writing in a style that I am now..
its an abstraction that is vast
and just there hovering at the
edge of light and dark
a kind of mental twilight
thank you for understanding
these poems
Esker
Tue, 2013-09-10 13:14
I try...
the internet is a blessing
this library.....
I would have dissappeared
otherwise..
loved
Tue, 2013-09-10 13:19
U CAn never dissappear
u r one of your kind
i visited ontario but couldn't find
a poet like you standing behind any pole or two
teach me poetry will you ?
loved
Race_9togo
Wed, 2013-09-11 19:19
Hello Steve,
LOL even your comments are often sparkling gems of word-smithing, and sometimes (read these comments, people) just a tad, shall we say, tongue-in-cheek?
But I digress from the purpose of my comment.
"a voice crawling
beneath
the velvet entrophy
of intricate ink"
Superb.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Esker
Thu, 2013-09-12 13:34
I never played with others..
I was different and shunned for this..
native and blue eyed...its an oddity
but my mind was fast sometimes
in comprehension..
(sometimes)
I love the word play..the speed
of this..I remember the old chats
of long age....it was very exciting
times then!! the private chat window
etc......
one cannot live in the past my
new mates say here
lately..but one can digress
to recall a fondness
I knew then that It was a special
time and glad that Neopoet
is still here for us today
for me when I arrive
to post something
from my day
from Lah Lah Lands..