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Assaults on my Soul,
It's as if tons and tons of matter
are thrown upon the airy core,
until they are crushed by gravity,
and packed more solid than lead:
My weak heart does try to lift up,
sail a wind above time's domain
but the scientific wonders sparkle
and I fall back to the virtual lane.
But what does it matter, anyway,
when time even ends the universe.
What does it matter anyway, when
you live and then you are no more.
But sometimes still, I hold to hope,
that time is not the ruling master,
that all is one, and one forever near.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Last few words:
From the confusion caused by this poem, i realize it's too personal and cannot be understood well without reference, so i will give a background sketch.
The Western world now takes all its truths and laws from the empirical method.
(Empirical evidence, also known as sense experience, is the knowledge or source of knowledge acquired by means of the senses, particularly by observation and experimentation)
This basically means all truth is derived from matter, or what can be postulated by observing effects. Not only has the mind been called into doubt because it is beyond physical tools; but reality itself, is said to come into existence when ‘mass’ is imparted by the god particle(Higgs boson) .
What I am basically trying to say is there is much more to life than what the cold tool can touch.
This is about the spiritual(belief in something higher) vs the physical (empirical method)
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Sun, 2018-08-05 06:10
Hi Tyro
The title of your poem in itself gives a glimpse into a battle of kinds the Protagonist is enduring where dreams uplift but destiny brings them down to ground zero where they struggle to sail again before almost succumbing to time, yet hope survives in the soul in the belief that times shall change...
I am not sure if i read this one right..I am still trying to figure out what the concluding line "that all is one, and one forever near" translates...
......................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
tyro
Sun, 2018-08-05 17:34
Hello raj
Hello raj
I was going another direction. I posted some background to show my base thoughts..
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
raj
Mon, 2018-08-06 05:24
Hello Tyro
I now know that my reading of your poem was totally off target. Nice of you to add the background in the last few words which sort of lifts the veil to reveal the beauty of the poem....
but now i have a question about how the spiritual awakening is an assault on the soul
..............................................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Sun, 2018-08-05 14:24
I get the feeling...
that in the last lines, you were trying to describe the feeling that everything in the universe is connected and that one forever is an extension of that thought. It just doesn't translate well. How about you just say that "all is one and one is forever" ? ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
tyro
Sun, 2018-08-05 17:36
thanks Geezer
I already changed that last line a number of times and still do not get it right. Must give it some thought. thanks for bring this to my attention.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
Rula
Sun, 2018-08-05 15:32
Hello dear tyro
As a good reader, I expect that you know pretty much about some of the Muslims' beliefs. I don't usually raise such issues but your words/piece brought it to my mind how do we (as muslims) work for both, this life and the life after death.
If there is no life after death, time is then the master and it should then have the control over many things.
V.much appreciate your words and sorry if I've expatiated
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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tyro
Sun, 2018-08-05 17:57
Hi dear Rula
This is a bit of a philosophical argument between the physical (which is on the march) and spiritual.
first stanza: view to the action of the physical as it tries to block out the spiritual light by packing tight as lead.
second stanza: the spiritual reaction; weak heart is symbol in for the spiritual, but even it is enticed by the scientific wonders.
third stanza: The truth that the physical teaches is all is subject to time.
fourth stanza the spiritual reaction; time is not master so it cannot end all things. He has faith in a realm beyond time, of a connection to that realm.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
Rula
Mon, 2018-08-06 06:01
Dear Tyro
I see, so time represents the material world! A good one!
Sorry I didn't get it the first time I read it. Thank you for the clarification.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Sparrow
Sun, 2018-08-05 17:49
Tyro
As most that live and know they will die, there seems to be a need to have an end to all things.
Why can't we get it in our little minds that we live in a forever place and are blessed to be able to live for a while in this beauty.
There are too many that want to put a beginning and an end to the things we see around us.
To me we are here in a physical form just for a while, to learn and reach out for perfection with our Gods whoever they may be.
No wonder we have problems it is because we are blind in trying to realise the complexity of the whole thing, we cannot conceive that it has always been and will be long after our dust drifts in the universe, to be reassembled time and time again.
Then there is our soul or spiritual being that drifts, holding on to a physical being for a while to learn then reverting to the energy it has always been.. It is Sunday so I can have a sermon lol .. Take care and enjoy your journey,
Yours Ian ..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
tyro
Mon, 2018-08-06 13:00
enjoyed your sermon.
enjoyed your sermon.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
lovedly
Sun, 2018-08-05 18:20
When poetry was introduced there was no way to challenge
the poet
what he said
might have said
may have said
could have said
should have said
but today we can instantly challenge
as per our own mind's understanding
there are 7.5 billions of us ''hardly'' a million are poets (may be muchly less)
yet one can't satisfy all
so do the best you can
it's your emotion and I feel may be it's me only
one needn't justify poetry
read it or not then move on
kindly
tyro
Mon, 2018-08-06 05:16
Hi Lovely
I love the challenge. I am a basketball coach of young kids, and my teams regularly beat more talented teams, because i insist they face their weaknesses. I tell them, first to admit to and then try to eradicate a weakness is the road to greatest success.
So, as I teach my children, welcome the challenge if you would be strong.
I do not fell I am justifying, I feel I am clarifying.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
lovedly
Mon, 2018-08-06 13:11
when I was young
I used to say
ACCEPT CHALLENGE WITH CHALLENGE
NOW as age catches on
it's hard to get up
then I say it's a challenge
see how I am here
well done we must ALL stick to our guns