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Cacophany!

Blood red sky,
people crying tonight
Gun shots sounding,
innocents die

Tenement buildings
crash to the ground
Mercenaries fighting
your soul's compromised

Your city will burn
and history will turn
If it's peace we desire
there are lessons to cite

listen to your brother
try not to be right
You may just discover
healing tonight!.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this out of depression and desperation. This is what is coming at us. If we cannot learn the art of listeing and giving. We're as good as dead!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

there is something wrong with this line:

(Children across running across the ground)

and this line, too:

Free your brother(S) from their snare

I could see your fingers flying over the keyboard, lightly kissing the keys!

Yo are right. we have a pretty bleak outlook if we do not learn the art of communication!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks again for reading my freind. Thanks for the heads up too!

Today never knows what tommorow will bring!

author comment

you are very welcome!

*many hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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