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Colors On The Canvas

Submitted by mark on Sun, 2024-02-18 21:17

On cool moist virgin sand

in front of fire clouds

under the rising autumn sun

where there are no ripples

on the quiet Atlantic

or even a single sea gull barking

is where you are found . . .

when faces that have smiled

slowly bridge from colorless places

impossible to forget

in a black and white world

made to shades of gray

nobody to blame

but you wonder who has made it

from Gods abstract canvas

where things were simple

or easy to understand

is how you are found . . .

near yellow hibiscus

in “The Rhythm Of The Saints”

at a thunderous drum circle

or on piles of autumn leaves

where all things are colorful

is where you will find me

where we can play . . .

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 02/18/24 to 02/24/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Mon, 2024-02-19 06:59

Dear Mark,

I love the layers of all stages of this poem. If I had to choose favorite lines, they are:

in a black and white world

made to shades of gray

nobody to blame

but you wonder who has made it

from Gods abstract canvas

thank you for sharing with us!
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Mon, 2024-02-19 11:05

I'm feeling that...

you are exhorting a favored human-being to join you at the shore of your ocean; a place where you can transform them into a full color person from a black and white existence. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lavender

Mon, 2024-02-19 11:48

For me, this has the feeling of looking at poignant memories in a new light - taking a sadness and placing it in a lovely, tender place of peace. The reference to "The Rhythm of the Saints" and the drum circle are so deep - the sensation of healing. Look forward to reading your response.
Thank you!
L

mark

Mon, 2024-02-19 18:11