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I miss you

Submitted by kowque on Fri, 2024-08-30 07:24

I said
I wont cry
But, even blue skies
Make me cry
Now

Am I crying,
For you?

I miss you
Knowing
I can't have you

I love you still

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-08-30 13:30

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively conveys a sense of longing and heartache through its concise and emotive language. The repetition of "cry" creates a strong emotional impact, emphasizing the speaker's inner turmoil. The use of short, fragmented lines enhances the feeling of vulnerability and raw emotion. Consider exploring more vivid imagery or specific details to further engage the reader and deepen the emotional resonance of the poem. Additionally, you may want to experiment with varying the structure or form to add complexity and nuance to the overall theme of unrequited love and loss.

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Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-08-30 07:55

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a cry in the dark... good work!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

kowque

Sat, 2024-08-31 00:41

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I cry in the dark,the light...every year helps;)

Koki

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2024-08-30 09:33

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your title doesn't quite match up with the poem.
I think that you might say; "You Left" and still get the same effect.
I say this, because you have written that "I miss you"...
If you wish to change the line, "I miss you" and say: I [will] miss you."
I think that will do very nicely. ~Geez.
.

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kowque

Sat, 2024-08-31 00:39

kowque's picture

This side

That says if you leave I wont cry

Then I realized,love songs LIE

I've been crying lol

But,the essence is more the idea that love lives on

Koki

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