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Lovely Lady Love
Oh my lovely lady love
your light frock flowing
chills fever frantic visions
of sun drenched paradise
ah, those inviting valleys
and sweet contoured rises!
It’s like a magical dream
to see the shimmering flow
as the sweet silvering mist
of your lightly kissing dress
over such landscape clings ...
how beautiful your body sings!
My one wish is that I recline
amongst such succulent fruit,
and feel more the man
at your sun drenched hand
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Wed, 2018-04-25 09:09
Hello tyro
I'll be back to this. You know how I fall in love with tender romantic poems, or so I think .
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Rula
Wed, 2018-04-25 15:27
I'm back
I still like it though I agree with Gee in every word in his comment, however I didn't get the subtext till the second read which I think makes it a really subtle read. How much I wish to write such a subtle piece or somehow with a twist. I still have a lot to learn
Thanks for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Wed, 2018-04-25 14:44
tyro
I would rate this as not just romantic because with the choice of words [gentle strokes of brush] you have created a portrait of a sensuous woman...being a rough draft I will follow this to see the finishing strokes you would be giving ...
pleasure to read and pleasing to the eyes..
..................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Wed, 2018-04-25 15:04
In certain...
societies, in some times, this probably would have been deemed slightly pornographic. I particularly liked the third quatrain, in which it makes clear that this poem is about the lust for a beautiful body; but not necessarily love. Great work! ~ Geezer.
.
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tyro
Thu, 2018-04-26 04:39
Thanks for the comment Dear
Thanks for the comment Dear Rula,
the subtlety is my attempt to keep it as clean as possible.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author commenttyro
Thu, 2018-04-26 04:41
"you have created a portrait
"you have created a portrait of a sensuous woman" thank you very much raj, that is my intention.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author commenttyro
Thu, 2018-04-26 04:52
Hello Geezer, it is not about
Hello Geezer, it is not about lust but about appreciation. In stanza three I had in mind the first stanza of a poem by Robert Herrick.
WHENAS in silks my Julia goes,
Then, then, methinks, how sweetly flowes
That liquefaction of her clothes.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author comment