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Memories of Timothy Leary

Submitted by Unca Fez on Mon, 2024-02-05 22:38

Little white pill, so innocent in my palm.
Momentary doubt, to take it or not.
Messages of doom rattle in my brain.
Shoving them aside, down it goes.

Anxious to see where it will lead,
Waiting, waiting, no sign of a change.
Someone walks ’cross the dimly lit room,
Echoes of light shadow behind them.

The music stops. The record changes.
Santana "Abraxas" blares from the speakers.
The music breeds a wild panic within.
Desperation! Escape! Reject the record.

“In Search of the Lost Chord” calms the fear.
From somewhere a set of headphones appear.
Listen in rapture to their strange new sounds,
As the various pieces move from ear to ear.

Hours later, a noticeable gnawing grows.
The desire to stimulate palate and tongue.
What, pray tell, is the perfect snack?
We debate as the checkout clerk frowns.

With dawn comes exhaustion to one and all.
The light shadows fade. The room less intense.
After fourteen hours of sensory strangeness,
We crash in our beds, our sleep, dreamless.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is a composite of some of the clearer memories that I have from the late 60's through early 70's experiments with hallucinogens while I was at the University of Wisconsin. Much of what I remember is just a collection of feelings. I can safely say that I would not have wanted to try this later in my life.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
02/24 Under The Influence
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-02-06 04:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Memories of Timothy Leary" effectively uses sensory details to create an immersive experience for the reader. The use of imagery, such as "Echoes of light shadow behind them," and "The music breeds a wild panic within," paints a vivid picture and evokes strong emotions.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter. The varying line lengths and syllable counts can disrupt the flow of the poem, making it less engaging for the reader. Experimenting with a more consistent structure could enhance the overall impact of the poem.

Additionally, the poem could explore its themes more deeply. While the sensory experiences are well-described, the poem could delve further into the emotional and psychological effects of these experiences. This could provide a more nuanced exploration of the poem's themes and create a more engaging and thought-provoking piece.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more varied language and poetic devices. While the imagery is strong, the use of similes, metaphors, and other figurative language could add depth and complexity to the poem. This could enhance the sensory descriptions and make the poem more engaging and memorable for the reader.

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RoseBlack

Mon, 2024-02-05 22:41

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Down memory lane. Sounds like you have some fond memories of your time with Timothy Leary. I enjoyed how this takes the reader on the journey from start to finish. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Unca Fez

Mon, 2024-02-05 22:57

Unca Fez's picture

I don't know if all of them are fond. I managed to escape without experiencing any flashbacks as some of my friends did. There were other incidents similar to the "Abraxas" verse that were definitely not fun. However, that is where I found my love of the Moody Blues after they got "weird".

Thanks for reading and the kind comments. Always appreciated.

Thanx,
Steve

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RoseBlack

Mon, 2024-02-05 22:58

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Is my favorite love song. I don't have many but I love this one.

~RoseBlack~

Unca Fez

Mon, 2024-02-05 23:17

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Of all their music that can be considered a love song, "For My Lady" from the Seventh Sojourn album is my favorite.

Thanx,
Steve

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Lavender

Mon, 2024-02-05 23:10

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Hello, Steve,
So much here! I feel the anxiety, and see the "echos of light" (great poetry). You take the reader along on your trip. Your title, blended with your ingenious music references bring a big smile. Quite the time!
Thank you!
L

Unca Fez

Mon, 2024-02-05 23:20

Unca Fez's picture

Thanks for the read and kind words. I don't often think about those nights much any more. They kind of feel like someone else's memories, but it was kind of fun trying to fit them into something that might be entertaining.

Thanx,
Steve

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Lavender

Mon, 2024-02-05 23:29

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to tie it all together with a Timothy Leary "experience."
L

Candlewitch

Tue, 2024-02-06 07:19

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at least it was your choice to "step off the ledge" It seems like I just have to do things, "the hard way!" I wonder why that is? Do I have a "Kick Me!" sign on my back?

I wish you included your selection of snacks and the discovery of new taste sensations.

"A question Of Balance" was mine. The question, Dawning Is The Day and Minstrel's Song

*hugs, Cat

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Unca Fez

Tue, 2024-02-06 07:31

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It is a shame that your introduction was involuntary and involved viewing "The Exorcist" for the first time. I can't imagine a worse scenario.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Thanx,
Steve

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Candlewitch

Tue, 2024-02-06 07:35

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I got even with her...I remained calm and she was the one freaking-out!

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Tue, 2024-02-06 13:51

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the risk-free trip, man! I enjoyed it enough to read it through a number of times, before deciding that there was nothing I could add or comment to in this one. So, you simply have my gratitude for this piece. I had my own experiences, but I will save them for another time. ~ Geez.
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Unca Fez

Tue, 2024-02-06 15:08

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I'm not sure what prompted me to write this, but it was interesting to try to describe some of the things that I remembered.

Thanx,
Steve

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