Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Mind eye coordination
There is a blind spot in my eye,
so I can never see the whole.
It is a gap in sight, maybe like
the synaptic gap, I do not know;
but like most things, it takes
a leap of faith to cross a shore:
as mind automatically constructs
the full image of what I saw.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Eumolpus
Fri, 2019-06-07 20:10
this is a very good poem Tyro
Very complete. Reminds me a bit of Louis MacNeice, which is a great thing. It shows control of the form within the subject and every word is accounted for. Good rhyme. And the meaning, the poetic truth comes though well.
If I had to say something...I keep getting tongue tied in the last line. seems the enjambment just is off a bit,,like the line before is iambic,and the last line i put the stress on word "full" and then "picture" cannot assume that stress point...hope I'm explaining that clearly..
But really, a tight and well made verse to me
.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Marthalyn
Sat, 2019-06-08 09:03
I wonder
Perhaps full' was intended to be "fullest"?
tyro
Sun, 2019-06-09 12:05
Hello lady and gentlemen
Hello lady and gentlemen
Yes, it is a typo. Would image in place of picture bring the stress in line?
thank you all for your comments.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author comment