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Putting Them Away
I put these feelings away
some time ago, where I thought
they’d stay where I left them.
But they felt no compunction
to stay were they’d been put.
In my youth, when you were letting me go
so subtly I didn’t notice until it was over.
The terrible act of love, having our dog
put to sleep from his suffering.
Hoping the day before her last one was a good one
for my mother, and that she’d finished a good book just in time.
But then I see an elderly couple holding hands,
or our young puppy finally learning to pee outside,
and I see I have new friends eager to help me
put the old wounds back where I’d like them to stay.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2024-07-27 11:50
Yes...
How easy it is to say, "I've put those feelings away",
when in fact, they are hidden so close to the surface,
that one little tic, one nudge, can bring them to the surface too easily.
But as you say, "But they feel no compunction to stay where they've been put."
I think that if you rearrange the stanzas, to reflect the passing of time,
it would make it just a bit more readable.
Try:
I put these feelings away
some time ago, [and] I thought
they'd stay where I left them.
But they felt no compunction
to stay where they'd been put.
In my youth, when you were letting me go,
so subtly, I didn't notice until it was over.
The terrible act of love, having our dog
put to sleep from his suffering.
Hoping that the day before the last one,
was a good one for my mother,
and that she'd finished that book.
Then I see an elderly couple holding hands,
or our young puppy finally learning to pee outside,
and I see I have new friends, eager to help me,
put the old wounds back where I'd like them to stay.
~ Geez.
.
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Michael Anthony
Sat, 2024-07-27 11:57
I like that Geez! Definitely
I like that Geez! Definitely helps with the flow - thank you!
Cheers
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Sat, 2024-07-27 16:17
Glad to help...
anytime. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.