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Sailing while Sailing

Oh, look! My kite is flying high
A flag of freedom in the sky
A brave explorer sailing where
No other soul would dare to fare

I wonder, can it see me here
from heights of virgin stratosphere
I think perhaps I look so small
I'm barely visible at all

upon the sea, a dot of white
a fleck of paint to a flying kite

Oh, soaring kite, I hold your will
I'm happy, yet, I'm saddened, still
That I should keep you tethered so
I wonder should I let you go

...if so, in days, our tiny boat
might pass you by, a-sea, afloat

...if no, then soon, your freedom's lost
and parity will bear the cost

...this quandary of compromise
means either rule or friendship dies

I guess I'll let you take more string
while we are pondering this thing

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
A simple piece stemming from a thought while entertaining myself...and perhaps my kite :)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Thomas,
I really enjoyed this. You have such a natural gift with meter and creative language. I love the personification, and like many things we think we own and hold on to - what's that saying? "If you love something, let it go...?" I believe someday the last thing seen will be the fading tail of the kite waving a grateful goodbye. A light and fun poem that tugged at my heart.
Thank you!
L

Your comments are always inspiring. There is always something that holds us together. All it takes is one small decision between a balanced relationship and the individuals becoming memories.

All the best!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

You are good. This ticks a lot of boxes. The poem's got tell tales of the classical greats in there. It's that good.

...and thanks for reading and especially for commenting. Rhyming poetry is by far my "go to" form, even if it's a little corny...but as long as there's a message behind it, I'm good with it. Thanks again!

Cheers!
Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

I agree... A message is good, communicating it in the most dramatic way you can makes it great, add some rhyme to all of it, what you have there now is gold, poetry. Thank you for the verses.

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