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Upbeat (Primal poetry workshop)

Submitted by Eumolpus on Tue, 2019-07-02 22:24

The pulse of the rapids
Slapping down the mountain
Always the same
Never the same
The roar of water
Ice clear from the mountain tops
The crash of water on rock
In beats of upbeat
Upbeat
In commotion
Upbeat upbeat
Loud locomotion

Soundless sky and wind
Only the rhythm
Of the fast falling water
White from the foam
And reflected in the sun
Whose light
Spins like the fireflies
And echo of
Waves and waves and waves and waves
White echo
Upbeat
Sly slick strumming rock
Upbeat to the sky
Upbeat echo
Upbeat
That instant when I die.

Last few words: 
I guess having spent the last few days in the waterfalls of the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming the drumming sound felt like the pace of sound there...
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Primal Poetry

Comments

Marthalyn

Wed, 2019-07-03 15:22

I don't know what will. I think your voice of pure origin is powerful here and I admire your freedom to do it.

Respectfully,

weirdelf

Thu, 2019-07-04 07:12

weirdelf's picture
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And you managed to make it poetry as well, which is not expected.

I knew my faith in you was wrranted.

Thank you.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lonlyhrtsclub13

Tue, 2019-07-09 13:34

lonlyhrtsclub13's picture

You captured the raw images of your mind as well and how it appealed to the senses. The visuals were amazing.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Patricia

Sun, 2019-07-21 16:54

Patricia's picture
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Having listened to the drumbeat also, I can see how the waterfalls would have a drum pounding sound.
Waves and waves and white echo, beautiful. Mostly I loved the upbeat lines I hope to feel that upbeat
when I die. Hopefully a life well lived.

B9Pat

Eumolpus

Sun, 2019-07-21 22:58

Eumolpus's picture

they all go very much noticed and appreciated

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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