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Where Lonely People Walk
There are stifled heartbeats
just below the ground
where lonely people walk -
forsaken greetings,
conversations barely pulsating,
trying to push through rocks, loam, and roots,
itching to vine onto
the wandering soles of
those needing a bit of benevolence,
a breath of companionship,
one reason to come alive...
waiting for an opening salutation,
"Hello."
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2024-07-30 09:01
Hmmmm...
This is surely a description of a walk in a cemetery?
I've seen those people, walking among the silent friends and family, looking for some companionship and comfort.
I couldn't have said it better. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Tue, 2024-07-30 10:28
Hello, Geezer!
I really like your take on this! I always appreciate your input and comments!
Thank you for reading!
L
Candlewitch
Tue, 2024-07-30 09:10
Dear Lavender,
I really like this pensive mood, (and what it produced,) of yours. my favorite lines are:
a breath of companionship,
one reason to come alive...
waiting for an opening salutation,
"Hello."
as for me, I once was a spirit, ghost if you will, magnet! it wore me out.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lavender
Tue, 2024-07-30 10:30
Hello, Cat,
I'm certain being a spirit magnet is very exhausting! :)
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Lx
Rula
Tue, 2024-07-30 13:47
Hello dear Lavender
A beautiful capture of the unspoken words and buried emotions if I got it right.
I thought the used metaphor of these emotions trying to "push through rocks, loam, and roots" suggests the difficulty and the struggle people often have in expressing themselves or reaching out.
Sometimes one simple word such as " hello" or any simple and kind act might bring warmth and interaction into life to someone.
At least my take
Wonderfully done!
Bless you and your pen
Thank you for sharing dear friend
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Lavender
Wed, 2024-07-31 12:34
Hello, Rula,
Yes, your interpretation is closer to my intent in writing! The poem is a bit abstract so, I know there may be multiple meanings when reading. Thank you, as always, for lending your thoughts!
Lxxx
Rula
Wed, 2024-07-31 13:31
Or
is it your wondering imagination on how could possibly the dead people (who lie lonely down there ) wish to reach the ones still alive even if with a simple salute.
This piece has a lot to say and provoked my thinking.
Would very much hear the author's interpretation:)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Lavender
Wed, 2024-07-31 13:49
Hello, Dear Rula!
I recently moved to a small town where I knew no one, and found I missed conversation most of all. I found myself talking to everyone - people at the bank, the library, behind the counter at the coffee shop. So needing to converse with other humans, any one who said "hello." :) I made several friends just by speaking up and getting out there, but for a few weeks, I felt loneliness on a pretty deep level. However, I really, very much, totally, and excitedly like Geezer's interpretation, too! It all works for me! Thank you for helping with this, my wonderful friend!
Lxx
Rula
Wed, 2024-07-31 14:09
This
Reminds me of same situation my dear mom once got into. I mean moving from where she was busy with life really buzzing around, to a very quiet place.
I don't say this is a bad thing, but it's not totally that healthy.
Keep up the great work dearest Lavender.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Lavender
Wed, 2024-07-31 14:45
Thank you, Rula,
for all your help!
Lx