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Soraya M.
Can I pray
without uttering a word,
even to God?
Can my hands shake
can I
cover my head with enough ashes?
Could I clothe myself in burlap?
When I close my eyes to sleep,
if Jesus is my Savior,
and not the Savior of the world
what kind of man am I?
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Conect11
Fri, 2011-01-28 10:56
Thank you Ian
It is vital that we share that love without boundaries if we are to be truly human, and not mere animals.
Psyve
Fri, 2011-01-28 05:09
Conect11
I read into this the questions of faith and repentance/ penance that we ask ousrslves as good human beings.
Why would my God protect me and not my "enemy combatant" on the same battle field. He too may be a good man, perhaps a god fearing family man .. with different ideals, that's all.
What is enough atonement for my sins?
All well expressed in this little gem.
Thank you for sharing this very human question, so humanely.
Psyve
Conect11
Fri, 2011-01-28 10:59
Much appreciated, Psyve
When we start making our faith into an exclusive club, bent on dominating others is when we make a mockery of God.
themoonman
Fri, 2011-01-28 08:11
Mark ...
it is good to see you ... great poem, and with
a universal message that I wish all could know ...
Richard
Conect11
Fri, 2011-01-28 11:00
Always delighted to see you, Richard
How we all treat one another is a universal language, one far too often forgotten.
Kailashana2
Fri, 2011-01-28 08:14
In that one simple question
In that one simple question rests the *peace that passeth understanding*.
Hi Mark, maybe we'll see each other soon, welcome back.
~A
Conect11
Fri, 2011-01-28 11:02
That would be great, Anna!
I'm looking forward to the day when that peace is manifest in all our lives.