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Mirror Image Poems
All the noise in her brain
clamped to the page
in simple refrains
for the wise old sage
could never be
simply a victim
of her poetry.
Drawn in by loose letters
needing a call to order,
the words rattle forth
before they destroy her.
Mirror image poems
half form in her mind
like books on shelves
in solid singling lines.
In the beginning
was the word
blurred, obscured
theatrically absurd.
Thin blue lines of worldly despair
words all lost to childhood prayers
her deficiencies were
but a failure of words
before she grew horns
on her tongue and her curves.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rula
Thu, 2022-12-29 04:47
Wow!
Though not one hundred percent sure of how to interpret this, yet I am facinated in a way. I can relate as I feel almost the same when I get the inspiration to write a new piece of poetry
The last couple of lines left me speechless.
Welcome to our world.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:00
Thanks for your time and
Thanks for your time and positive feedback ... unfortunately I don't do Instagram
Geezer
Thu, 2022-12-29 08:29
In the eye...
of the beholder. Your word usage is good, and I didn't flutter around on it.
I saw a teenage girl, who may have been bullied, but eventually
got back at her tormentors by becoming sexy/beautiful and well educated in the ways
of society. She is a wordsmith that can cut to the quick, when she feels insulted.
That is what I got from it. The rhyme and pattern are good with rhyme and near rhyme
and the logic is made by the reader. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:02
Thanks Geezer ... you have
Thanks Geezer ... you have correctly gotten my meaning!
Lavender
Thu, 2022-12-29 10:56
Mirror Image Poems
Hello, Bmoxie,
As I read this, I sense a struggle one has with evolving spirituality. The study and eventual questioning of the written word, and then the pondering over our own prayers. This is bold in language and theme, and very introspective. I will be curious to read your responses!
Thank you,
L
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:03
Yes I can get very
Yes I can get very introspective at times. Glad you enjoyed it
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-12-29 11:20
hello Bmoxie,
your poem is both inspired and inspiring! I singled out these lines:
her deficiencies were
but a failure of words
that really cuts to the crux of the poem. I have felt this way often. my muse usually Intervenes and brings me through it. your rhythm and flow are excellent. I can find no fault, your poem is perfect.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-12-29 20:45
Wow
I see a tormented soul who found strength and release in her writing and who grew to stand up against those who wronged her. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:04
Thanks. Poetry writing does
Thanks. Poetry writing does us all good doesn't it!
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-12-30 05:14
I second that
Rose Black sees what I see here. Great title! There are times when I want to write and there are times I need to write, both approaches help make sense of my feelings, sometimes I even write well as a bonus. That is certainly the case with your piece here. Good language and I like the underlying theme you’ve got going on with the mirror/body image/confidence returning. I really like this one.
Tim
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:08
I am very impressed by the
I am very impressed by the responses this poem has gotten, especially yours. You get me!
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-12-30 11:46
Wonderful!
The poem looks simple to understand yet is it seems to be a hard nut! Lines encrypted with poetic elements. Needing to be decoded. The master key is in the hand of the writer! Lol! Excellent piece!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Rula
Mon, 2023-01-02 00:49
Congratulations!
I just wished you to reply to all those who gave the effort and the time to read your poem and to comment on.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:05
Sorry for the delayed
Sorry for the delayed response. I keep having trouble logging onto this site and get frustrated. But I do appreciate all the responses
Rula
Mon, 2023-01-02 00:51
Congratulations!
Looking forward to reading more of your works
Bravo!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Lavender
Mon, 2023-01-02 09:43
Congratulations!
Bold poetry!
L
Bmoxie
Wed, 2023-01-04 11:06
Sometimes my work gets a
Sometimes my work gets a little bold. Thanks for getting it!