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GRANDIOSE MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN

Submitted by Jokerface82 on Tue, 2024-09-17 05:34

There stood a majestic
Craggy face with razor blade
Edges of a monstrous
time honoured mountain

Turning its rocky nose up
at anything below him, robust
Jagged and risky, high stabbing
armour with White shark tip
Cut throated fins.

Bald rugged with a silent manner
cold stone as white as marshmallow
steep and strong, bold and old
broad frosted shoulders

With powdered freckles and a storm grey
complexion it wore a white necklace
and a frosted crown, made
by heaven.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Rough
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Nepoet Weekly 09/15/24 to 09/21/24
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-09-17 11:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "GRANDIOSE MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN" vividly describes the imposing presence of a mountain through powerful imagery and descriptive language. The use of adjectives like "majestic," "craggy," "monstrous," and "rugged" effectively conveys the grandeur and ruggedness of the mountain. The comparison of its features to a shark with "cut throated fins" adds a unique and vivid element to the description.

However, there are areas where the poem could be strengthened. Consider focusing on creating a more cohesive structure or narrative flow to guide the reader through the imagery. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of metaphors and imagery throughout the poem to ensure a more unified and coherent depiction of the mountain.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the awe-inspiring nature of the mountain, but refining the structure and enhancing the consistency of imagery could further elevate the impact of the piece.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

Wed, 2024-09-18 21:34

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Very well done. The intense imagery captured the essence of the mountain. Vivid pictures played throughout my mind as I ready through it. I have to say this is one of your best. Good job!

~RoseBlack~

Jokerface82

Thu, 2024-09-19 02:30

Jokerface82's picture

I appreciate that !

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