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Dust Blue Daisies
I never did find
the great wide open
where the city skyline dissipates
into watercolour hues.
I stood out on the edge,
wooden arrows tried to
dictate my direction,
but the words were all wrong.
And the dust blue daisies
grew around me
when I lost my mind.
I let the world pass me by
so I could break
where no one could see.
I never did find
each of the fragments.
It was time to start over anyway;
petals of azure in hand
whimsically free.
These are the new
pieces of me.
And the dust blue daisies
waver around me,
full moon cutting through
the darkest night
where I collapsed at a dead end.
I let the world pass me by
so I could fade away
and no one could see.
I never did find
the dead end’s light
but there were the stars
brushing flowers in silver rebellion
and the choice that was right.
I let petals flutter to the wind
and followed where
they took me.
And the dust blue daisies
guiding me back
to where I called home
despite the broken pieces
of spirit left behind to
soak back into the Earth.
I let the world keep passing me by
so I could stand still
to breathe.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
captain 2
Thu, 2024-09-19 22:37
hello
Welcome to Neopoet!
This is beautiful. I’m so glad I ran into this – often, I think, I miss the best poems posted here just because of timing. So, I feel lucky to have opened up the site to this one after a week off.
Fist off: I love the title! I’m not sure what your intention was, but “dust” blue daisies really invokes something inside of me – it also reads in my mind like dust “blew” daisies…. which is a crazy good poetic double entendre. It especially fits considering the theme of your poem.
You had me from the first verse, but the lines:
“I let the world pass me by
So I could break
Where no one could see”
Really sank in! It's a perfect way to express that sentiment that just about anyone has felt.
I’ve read the poem 3 times now. I feel resignation, defeat, searching, regret -- but also hope, and rebirth. Certain lines are very interesting and create vivid images, although they are vague enough to make me wonder exactly what you mean...but, I prefer it that way sometimes. I feel like I understand what you mean on gut level in some passages, even though I can’t quite get there specifically. That is good poetry! I think you wrote this with great intention and each line was purposeful, and yet there is just a hint of mystery left for me to ponder and relate my own experiences to. As the poem develops, I sense retreating and regathering. Then, carrying on stoically, enjoying what you can, letting some things go, noting the journey, holding on to what is good, returning anew. -- something like that...that is what I feel anyway. .
I’m pretty new to this site myself, so I can’t offer any proper technical critiques. It just seems really good to me! Looking forward to reading more of your work!
Best,
Captain.
LilacsandLace
Thu, 2024-09-19 23:12
Thank you so much!
A lovely comment, much appreciated! Much of my poetry comes to me in the depths of depression, and sometimes in the immediate aftermath, so sometimes I don't even know what I was trying to convey in some lines. What I ruminated upon at the time and how I interpret it later can be two immensely different meanings. Thank you for reading!
author commentcaptain 2
Thu, 2024-09-19 23:28
me too!
I also seem to write best when I'm in a down place. Thats where the best stuff is, i guess. I can also relate to writing certain lines down without knowing exactly what they mean (they just feel right), and then later, they make perfect sense. It's almost like writing poetry is a form of revelation, given to you, rather than analytical exercises of your own control. At least, that's what it feels like to me.
captain
LilacsandLace
Fri, 2024-09-20 17:53
Revelation and therapy...
I have often gotten more revelations from poetry than I have from simple journalling, though I do much of both. I think when we are in those down places is perhaps when we need artisitic expression the most, the outlet. Sometimes simple words and discussion don't express what we need to get out. Human emotions are messy and hard to untangle.
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2024-09-19 23:15
Sometimes...
We need a silence and withdrawal from our surroundings, in order to make sense of things, I understand that. Amid the silence and nothingness, we are lost, drifting, and in a while, we just find the answer is not figuring it all out, but letting things go, so that we can progress to something else. I see blue daisies, bobbing and vibrating in the wind, with little dust devils blowing through a cold prairie. Good stuff! Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.
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LilacsandLace
Thu, 2024-09-19 23:24
Truth.
I am the type of gal who will walk down an old backroad into darkness just to find myself again and circle around back home. Small town things. It's how I find myself - that or long drives down the highway, speeding with the music too loud for anything else, and just driving with a cheap gas station coffee and a cigarette. The vibe.
Alas, you picked up on my prairie background! It's in my soul and permeates into my writing. Something about the wide open space gives the soul room to breathe.
I am very happy to be here, new friend. Thank you.
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2024-09-20 07:51
Hello LilacsandLace,
I usually single out lines/versus that resonate, and I quote them back to the poet with an explanation. But I would have to highlight the entire poem...you have summed up what I am now living! I live in a small city (really a town) The biggest thing about it is that it is across the river from another town on the Minnesota side. Saint Croix Falls, my town, is on the Wisconsin side of the river. In summer we get many tourists to our one major Street called downtown. A few blocks away, on the border are two State Parks.
Now that I have babbled in over-drive, I must tell you that I feel a kinship with you. (I grew up in Minneapolis Minnesota but I hungered for a cessation of the noise and crowds Now I have that peace and Deer walk on our property without fear. we see them in the early morning mists.
Your poem is a slice of heaven and haven!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
LilacsandLace
Fri, 2024-09-20 17:50
Much appreciated.
And you know, I never realized what my soul yearned for until hitting my mid-30s. I always thought I needed to get lost a big city, disappear into crowds, become invisible in plain sight. But in the last couple of years, after much healing work, I found what my soul truly yearns is room to breathe, space to exist, and a slower pace of life. A return to that little girl who was raised on a homestead in the mountains. I strayed from my roots from a long time. Isn't it funny how we come back around to certain things, often before we are conscious of it?
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