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THE CRUISE (as refined by the Splash Pool Workshop)
THE CRUISE
We sailed their yacht to paradise,
At least that’s what it seemed.
White coral sand, blue sea, green palms,
The place we all had dreamed.
We’d had our plans made for a while,
To steal their yacht and run;
We meant the pair no harm - I swear,
But the old man pulled a gun.
Overpowered and beat up some,
Now both too scared to speak-
They can’t be found, both had to drown,
So their lifeboat sprung a leak.
Jed and Steve stayed up on deck
While I turned in below.
From troubled dreams, wild cries and screams,
I woke to a horror show.
I heard the tearing, ripping sound
Of flesh being torn from bone,
The other two, the old man’s crew,
Were gone - I was alone.
Though I hid from this avenging corpse,
The old man found out where.
Hissed rotten breath that stank of death,
Rolled eyeball with mad stare
All that took place ten years ago,
I’m skipper now, for life
We sail the seas, just him and me
Still looking for his wife…….
Comments
Tam the Chanter
Sun, 2011-05-29 09:17
Rosie
Thanks for taking the time to crit. and for being you. I don't really think I'm writing from what I know here LOL
Love
Ian xx
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
Tam the Chanter
Sun, 2011-05-29 09:21
workshop
Jaycee, great to hear from you. The workshop was really enjoyable, hope you can take part soon. Thanks for stopping by
Love
Ian xxx
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA
scribbler
Sun, 2011-05-29 08:47
hi
After beating this already good tale to death in the pool lol, I see you considered all ideas and improved this to an excellent poem.............stan
Tam the Chanter
Sun, 2011-05-29 09:23
pool
Thanks for the kind words, Stan and for the workshop assist. Glad you liked it.
Regards
Ian
TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA