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Come Find The Mirth

Submitted by Rula on Tue, 2024-08-27 17:45

Come find the mirth, as the earth has gone
With vivid colors and so much fun
Bristle leaves; crimson, gold and brown
Flutter cheerfully up and down
All around the happy town.

With morning's breeze, the day begins
With Mrs. Stewart and Mrs. Flynn
They do the raking all around
Bringing smiles to a less messy ground
Come find the mirth.

This isn't the first, nor will be the last
For Autumn revisits with more vibrant cast
To settle colors, and early bring
More liveliness to earth with a blooming Spring
Then a sense of hope shall soon blast.
Come find the mirth.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Last few words:

A rondeau for you :)

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Autumn Arrival Image Prompt Contest

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-08-27 23:50

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Come Find The Mirth" demonstrates a good understanding of rhythm and rhyme, which contributes to the overall flow and readability of the piece. The repeated line "Come find the mirth" effectively serves as a refrain, adding a sense of cohesion and unity to the poem.

However, there are a few areas that could benefit from further refinement. The poem could explore its themes more deeply. While the poem does a good job of describing the changing seasons and the activities of the townspeople, it doesn't delve into the significance of these events. What does the coming of autumn and the subsequent arrival of spring mean to the speaker or to the townspeople? How does this cycle of change affect them emotionally or spiritually?

Additionally, the poem could benefit from more varied and complex language. While the language used is clear and straightforward, incorporating more figurative language, such as metaphors and similes, could add depth and richness to the poem.

Lastly, the poem could work on maintaining consistent tense. The line "They've done the shovelling all around" seems to be in past tense, while the rest of the poem is in present tense. This inconsistency can be confusing for readers and disrupt the flow of the poem.

Overall, the poem shows promise and with a few revisions could be even more engaging and impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Wed, 2024-08-28 08:17

Dear Rula,

I love that you end every verse with the same line, of (Come find the mirth)! your poem is inspirational. I like its up-beat tone. good luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Rula

Wed, 2024-08-28 08:43

Thank you

dearest Cat. In fact I like that line too :)
Maybe you'd like to try your hand with a rondeau one day. Just Google it . It's fun to write.
Thank you for the kind visit and the wishes.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Candlewitch

Wed, 2024-08-28 08:51

:)

Thank you for the suggestion, my friend. I will look into it for sure!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Lavender

Wed, 2024-08-28 13:41