Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Unannounced
as the night came
the stars seemed more brilliant
like an electric bouquet at the top of my head.
seeped in crystal spring clarity,
I stared wide eyed and breathless
into boggling beauty
and I laughed
at my heretofore
spectacular misunderstandings
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-01 02:37
I hesitate to offer critique,
I hesitate to offer critique,
is there a reason you posted this as a blog rather than a poem?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
brittle light
Tue, 2011-11-01 06:03
this was written and posted
this was written and posted on August 18, 2011. It is the last piece I've written since then. I was writing more during that time, and exceeded the one poem per day rule...so I bent the rules a little by posting as a blog (something I did often).
I recently read it and felt and urgent need to revise it, but it seems destined to remain on the blog page
Is your hesitation to critique based on the fact that it is a blog? or something more sinister!!! (lol). Please, fire away if you indeed have some thoughts on this. It would be appreciated, as always.
respectfully, and cheers to you too
p.s. that is the first time I have ever written "(lol)" on anything. I'll try not to let it happen again!!!
Al
author commentweirdelf
Tue, 2011-11-01 18:26
I respect a man who doesn't lol [grins]
Love the poem. I hesistated because I wonder if poems posted as blogs are just trying to get around the one-a-day rule (stoically refrains from lol-ing)
My only critique is that I think one more verse would re-inforce the idea of 'spectacular misunderstandings'.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry