To have a sphere of friends
In high orbit, above, around
Like satellites in good repair
With clear sight lines to the ground
Send them signals, they bounce back
Invisible and without sound
Moves me at the speed of light
To a place where I am found

I miss her in the way that sometimes people say
"Covid is over"
I mean, we're all acting like its over
But its still everywhere
In the form of her things around my house
She used to take my breath away
And now its taken away by muffled sobs
I dont think ill ever shake this aching in my heart

This vast and fragile heart
Which has broken so many times
Never ceases to coerce the mind
Despite the missing pieces lost
During the shattering and
Every subsequent reconstruction

I’m not broken
I am a collection of
Unhelpful thoughts and
Unhealthy behaviors
Dearly earned as means of
preservation of a self
That was never me

a wrongful truth of warm citrus and lumpy water
watching my mouth move in curls and downturns
a discolored sock of clay and a screaming blossom tree
watching my wrinkles in a whirlpool licking the tide of my eyebrows
an ink splotch on a white flock and a rotten slice of apricot
watching my stranger eyes staring back into me a rising blue tornado of delirium
a smell of vomit bleaching flesh and a hasty bee prick
watching my face melt from the ceiling and playing with the noose
an imposing stench and the scent of decaying beauty

Whose attraction is such
May i orbit you forever
Entangled in a spiral dance
Envied by the earth and moon
Gravity can but observe in dismay
Even her pull can not pull me away

Life eternally surrounds him,
Shifting through time
Dancing around his scythe
Like a butterfly in the wind
Blissfully unaware
Of its imminent death
Flirtation with Grim Reaper
Being the one true thing
Keeping her heart beating
Toying and teasing
He watches her grow old
Imortalising her youth
But at what cost?
For a romance with the grim reaper
Has never been known
To be one of stability
Or compassion.

One day I woke up
To the most beautiful revelation
That somehow, unseen and unheard
The life I so desperately sought
Engulfed my very being
It walked through once closed doors
Sat on the couch and reclined tired feet
“It’s been so long, It said.
“Tell me what’s new.”

she reminded me of the waves,
not because of their soft
and calming reputation,
but because they engulf
and swallow
and drown the people who get too close.

she has left me choking,
pulling me into her graveyard.

Twas not the born lamb’s breath that I dare weep for, brother
Twas not the hollow arcane inside I feel, dear brother
Hunger to sip the woeful tale of fever alas
Oh me, Oh my, Oh brother
He throws like plasma glass
Twas I, you know, shivering she
who tore apart the horses
And licked the dust of corpses
oh brother, dare we go a great old deal
and burn the iron man with teeth of gasoline
Twas you, remember
Twas you so sweetly keen
Oh me, Oh my, Oh brother
How the man does melt
Oh me, Oh my, Oh brother