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Battle Mountain, Nevada
Before sunset I considered the view
from the windows of my car,
of a lonesome mountain there
My kindred mountain, it seemed,
had been put there amidst all my numbness
to speak with me about the last year
And like the mountain, the hurt could not be moved
I couldn’t think of much else;
why she left, what I did wrong
It was only obvious some years later,
after more experience with conflicts of the heart,
it had everything to do with being eighteen
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
Recounting a very lonely trip across the Nevada wasteland on my way back home at 18.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2022-04-21 07:52
Growing up...
I've been there [Nevada] and having been born and raised
in the Northeast, I can understand the thought that it is a wasteland.
[Not that it really is], just that... anyway, I understood and enjoyed the
thoughts expressed here. Yes, that first love and the break-up!
Yes, it has everything to do with being eighteen and not knowing all the things
that you thought you did. A well thought out piece with no frills and just straight talk!
Something that you might say to your son or younger brother. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2022-04-20 23:08
Thanks Geez! No offense to
Thanks Geez! No offense to Nevada, but from my POV that difficult day, it sure seemed like it. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
Best
Michael Anthony
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-04-21 07:04
hello Michael,
before I forget, what is POV?
I really loved this poem. it reminded me of living in Colorado thirty-seven years ago. my favorite lines are:
My kindred mountain, it seemed,
had been put there amidst all my numbness
to speak with me about the last year
And like the mountain, the hurt could not be moved
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Thu, 2022-04-21 07:54
POV...
is Point Of View. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-04-21 07:55
thank you Geez! *hugs, Cat
thank you Geez!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.