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Mothers Departure A CHALENGE CONTEST MAY #15
This poem-- MOMS SMILES depicts her departure
...to the new home
no where
on an airy road
to no where
yet it speaks of the whole truth
inch by inch
as she crept into the wilderness
created for all
no lack of space
all are
and will be welcome
one day
this happened five decades away
can any one relay
MY MOM'S SMILES
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-05-08 06:14
dear lovedly,
put a space between (This poem MOMS SMILES depicts her departure) this and the second line. this is a lovely poem for your Mother. it flows nicely. it shows that you loved her.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ray Whitaker
Sun, 2022-05-08 09:34
I wanted to walk
Further that I did with this piece. Your highlighted moments within the poem are dramatic, tho.
I would alter the title a bit: “This poem MOMS SMILES depicts her departure“ to only “Her Departure”
‘Course, if you were making this a contest entry, then the title is to include the subject of the contest…. And if you were making this a contest entry, you should also use the drop down menu on the Submit page to delineate it.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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lovedly
Wed, 2022-05-18 21:03
Dear Ray If only you had read my poem
MY MOM'S SMILES
YOUR views would drastically change
INCLUDED
Thanks
Geezer
Sun, 2022-05-08 11:36
As always...
Ray gives you good advice. I can see your Mom smiling, she had many smiles for you and your love. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Sun, 2022-05-08 13:42
you three are
my well wishers
will amend
its no competition
just my remembrance
it so happens
MOTHERS DAY
TODAY
hurray for mom
all moms
WE PRAY
lovedly
Wed, 2022-05-18 20:32
Thanks
Kindly Mark