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Autumn Rain

Drops pelt the
fallen leaves
bringing to mind
tears falling
over beauty
and lost love.

Rain bounces
off the
confetti on the
ground like
the damaged end
of a party.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Autumn Rain" effectively uses vivid imagery and metaphors to convey a sense of melancholy and loss. The comparison of raindrops to tears and fallen leaves to lost love is poignant and evocative. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter to enhance its musicality and flow.

The second stanza introduces a new metaphor, comparing the rain-soaked leaves to the aftermath of a party. This metaphor is intriguing, but it might be more impactful if it was developed further. For instance, the poem could delve deeper into the emotions associated with the end of a party, such as loneliness or regret, to mirror the themes of loss and sadness introduced in the first stanza.

The poem also uses a lot of prepositions and articles ("the", "of", "on"), which can make the lines feel a bit choppy. Experimenting with different sentence structures and reducing the use of these words could make the poem feel smoother and more fluid.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary. For example, instead of repeating the word "falling" in the first stanza, the poem could use synonyms or related words to add variety and avoid redundancy.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

short but profound. I enjoyed it. Nothing I would change.

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

The mood of this poem is spot on. I really liked the metaphors used and giving life and depth to leaves.

I appreciate your input!

author comment
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