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In the Silence RE-Revised
In the Silence
In the silence of the eerie night,
As the breeze rustles
Through leafless trees,
The sound is eerie,
Totally different,
As if there were no trees.
Life as it is,
Was a lonely pathway
Open in desolation,
Upon those deserted sands of time,
Totally mistaken for peace and calm,
I was walking in the midst of darkness
Totally unarmed,
When I was blindfolded
And taken,
Ah!
A case of being mistaken
But the suffering was mine
Yet at such times,
Divine comes to fore,
They looked at my broken arm
They let me go,
A sacrifice could be made of fully
Wholly being,
I was casually taken
Then left in the jungles of time
Glad I still am alive
The corrections have improved ,
the texture of this different kind of poem
Thanks Ian
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
loved
Wed, 2011-02-16 13:50
Hello Ian
Thank u very much
4 the depth u've brought
the poem has been given
a modern face lift
as u have rightly
thought
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-02-16 14:00
Dear Loved
could feel the depths and the tides in this write...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Wed, 2011-02-16 16:51
IS the last line
ur suggested edit???
if so shall
thanks
loved