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Rebirth apocalypse 2
Dark side of the universe
Abandoned soul survives alone
except for his dog.
Travels the wastelands in search
Of another soul
In manic desperation for the human touch
Decades pass and all that arrives
Is mother nature
The earth becomes a verdant green
Opposite side of the of the earths' rebirth
She waits by the graveside of her last link
To the time before the big bang.
Two stripped down strung out
Survivors barely holding onto sanity
Each oblivious to the other.
Last few words:
Second in the apocalypse series
Editing stage:
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Comments
magics02
Sat, 2011-10-01 02:04
This is good lou
I connect with this write and this shows the excelling in your writing. Great job Lou.
Will be back to read more
Hugs
Mona
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 04:01
Mona
Thank you
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Kailashana2
Sat, 2011-10-01 05:48
I also liked this, it has
I also liked this, it has every element of what makes excellent poetry..... if I may:
Dark side of the universe
Abandoned soul survives alone
Except for his dog
(not accept)
Travels the wastelands in search
Of another soul
In manic desperation for the human touch
(I'd omit *the*)
Decades pass and all that arrives
Is mother nature
The earth becomes a verdant green
(hope springs eternal, eh? wonderful lines)
Opposite side of the of the earth's rebirth (apostrophe)
She waits by the graveside of her last link
To the time before the big bang.
(loved this!)
Two stripped down strung out
Survivors barely holding onto sanity
Each oblivious to the other
(love love loved this, Lou!)
~A
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 12:34
Anna
Thanks Anna
Glad that you liked it, ill make the changes that you suggested.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 12:36
Xena
I'm glad you understand the poem.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 12:37
Jayne
Thank you so much.
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 18:38
Lonnie
Why thank you kind sir
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Geezer
Sat, 2011-10-01 19:56
Such...
powerful images! The imcumbent hero, walking along with his dog. In a no man's land, just waiting for the earth to heal it'self, searching for someone to share it with. Epic! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Sat, 2011-10-01 21:52
Gee
You got it !! Thank you.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
wesley snow
Sun, 2011-10-02 14:15
Keep it coming.
And I wouldn't be afraid to make each installment longer. Mine sure as hell are. wesley
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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