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Skeletal
Skeletal
Skeletal fingers
Clench around my emptiness
Forcing death’s embrace
My wretched life source
Diminishes in seconds
Exterminated
No life soul released
Existence as a lone ghost
In Purgatory
So, Heaven or Hell
Confess my sins or stay lost
Gates of Hell, open!
© 2011 hoodedstranger.com
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:35
Dan
this is quite unlike you to write a short poem in three line verses but very effective...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:41
Raj
Raj,
as I wrote it, I soon realised by accident that they were almost haiku's, so I touched them up and made them into haiku's. I then wrote a lyric based on these verses. I decided to post these rather than the lyrics...for a change.
I may post the lyric at a later date.
Thanks for dropping by my friend,
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:47
Dan
I like the short punchy verses, clear,concise and effective. In my view near perfect.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:49
Lou
Lou,
I always intended these to be short and hopefully punchy, but not haiku's...but I am pleased with the result now.
Thanks,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
raj
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:48
nice to see your departure
nice to see your departure from your preferred style...these are not only well constructed Haikus but they establish a good connection from one verse to the next...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Hooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-10-07 15:50
Raj
raj,
I agree, it is refreshing to break from my preferred style...for a while anyway!
Glad you like them,
cheers,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
greeneyes
Fri, 2011-10-07 18:16
wonderful
You are a master of words! Wonderful.
Much Love,
Elizabeth
Hooded Stranger
Sun, 2011-10-09 03:18
Elizabeth
Elizabeth,
I don't think I am a master, but I thank you kindly,
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Hooded Stranger
Sun, 2011-10-09 03:17
Lon
Lon,
yes you did, many thanks again,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
themoonman
Sun, 2011-10-09 00:24
Take the red pill ...
I did !!!
thanks Dan, enjoyed.
Hooded Stranger
Sun, 2011-10-09 03:19
Richard
Richard.
LOL!
I took them both...wow what a trip!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.