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a passerby
All these years have flown by
and what do you know
most have passed me by
hoping by now
I must have passed by
intermingled in the starry sky
how can one now that distance fly?
to catch a simple passerby
time does also fly
so am I now here
merged in twilight
as dawn breaks
for folks like you
again
my form has lead me down
the stormy drain
lapsed in the folds of time
as time ultimately all does maim
and I can’t say a name
which hasn't passed
O you alone are so noble....
perhaps just one!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geremia
Sun, 2015-02-22 14:51
So well written and poignant,
So well written and poignant, my poet friend.
joe
lovedly
Sun, 2015-02-22 19:06
so kind of you
As usual,
Friendly Joe
Geezer
Sun, 2015-02-22 16:09
A little...
obscure for my taste, but you sure did manage a lot of rhyming! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Mon, 2015-02-23 00:29
though obscure
the sense is pure
Sparrow
Sun, 2015-02-22 18:48
Loved
You and your time, Sadie just laughs that you cannot understand the concept of no time, it is not a dimension, just a number for mathematicians to play with, if your time was true the children wouldn't be able to be in several places at once.
There is only now that stretches across the folds of the universe where one day we will travel with ease.
Good write though, you take care young Bard,
Yours in the now Ian..
PS:- Even before I had written this it was in the past..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Mon, 2015-02-23 13:52
some one said oh bard
there is something about
TS ELIOT in this poem
IS IT so? I A N
alidzain
Sun, 2015-02-22 19:03
Loved
Others have commented your work and I join them in their views. love the theme, the rhyming, the honest thoughts. Love it all.
Alid
judyanne
Sun, 2015-02-22 19:07
no waffle
I love it - great theme
time - a hard concept to define....
Well done loved
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Sun, 2015-02-22 20:34
u r making me feel
no waffle
now ts like a raffle