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TEMPEST( mixed meter for Wes' shop)
All thunder and heavy rain
mere minutes in the past
sun now shining,'twas in vain
fierce storms seldom last
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
just an itty bitty ditty
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2011-03-10 11:21
Trmpest!!!
Dear Scribbler,
This is purely delightful!!! And so true. It put me in mind of a summer storm that arises quickly, does it's damage and dissipates just as fast as it came.
always, cat
*
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scribbler
Thu, 2011-03-10 12:36
hello cat
tempests not in the form of weather also pass quickly. Thanks for coming by...............stan
scribbler
Thu, 2011-03-10 17:50
tempest
thank you on both counts...............stan
scribbler
Thu, 2011-03-10 17:51
tempest
Like a tempest even gas passes..........................stan
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-03-10 17:58
Interesting,
how one can apply images of weather as metaphor to one's own experiences, so easily yet so subtlely.
This one's very good, I would change not a thing.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
scribbler
Thu, 2011-03-10 18:06
Ah HA!
The secret to fewer changes----------shorter writes lol. I am glad you caught the double meaning.......stan
vexations10
Thu, 2011-03-10 19:15
appropriate
sounds like you are in the midst of spring.
vexations
scribbler
Thu, 2011-03-10 19:34
hi vex
good to see you again. The calendar says still winter but the maples and pear trees say spring. Thanks for dropping by....................scribbler
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-03-11 10:28
Happy Birthday!
Sorry I'm late, I didn't realize.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Fri, 2011-03-11 12:48
cat
not late at all and thank you................stan
scribbler
Tue, 2015-03-17 17:41
Ok
I Think this is a mix of anapest and Iambic heavy on Iambic