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Apostrophe
Is it possible?
that possession entered
into what we both
have freely given
Now we both
feel the constrains
of love set in the
apostrophe
Did we over punctuate
without really understanding
what the ramifications
of wanting would be.
Where did we agree?
to this conjunction
words were never spoken
or read a syllabus of love
.
The joy of two dear friends
with benefits is lost
now we count every syllable
and react to every metaphor
Has the context
of this relationship been
misconstrued
will we ever see its light?
Let us use our diction
in a way
that will benefit us
for an everlasting union
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-05-25 06:08
Shit
running away fingers!
thanks for the eagle eye
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-05-25 06:10
Jay
Thank you as always,
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-05-25 06:16
Nice Eddie, very nice, I
Nice Eddie, very nice, I wonder why we think we're unloveable just because we're not perfect.
Why can't agree to disagree, why is it when we're challenged, that it is taken as a offense
committed?Speaking of apostrophes and question marks. Union was always the case, it is we who find ways to remove ourselves from the embrace.
~A
There's a couple of blips in the poem, but what is perfect? I think you have found your poetic voice Eddie. Good for you!
Eduardo Cruz
Wed, 2011-05-25 06:40
Anna
Thank you so much, but I'm still search for that elusive voice. They're to many in my head. Lol
That's the thing about poetry perfection is never found, only the strive for it.
Holy shit I went Taoism on you. Hahaha!
Again thanks
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-05-25 06:48
Everything is a way to your
Everything is a way to your own true self, dear Eddie. Poetry is the way we unleash the many voices in our heads.
Some of them seeming to come from *you*.
Smile.
~A
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-05-26 01:59
Anna
The Toltic way is to listen to the voices and find the one that rings true through all the fog the worlds dream tries to create in our mind.That's where the true freedom lies where we can follow our own dream
Wiping all the fog (matote) from the mirror that reveals the true self.
I hear you, I'm always listening.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-05-26 04:48
the qustion
where did we agree?
come from the previous line, then I list the things like the conj. the union of love between two and so on. So it is in the right place. but you are entitle to your opinion my solicitor would disagree. hahaha!
thanks for coming to read. You say a great write but what of it was great,. you don't explain so you kind of left me hanging my friend.
Eddie
"To teach with love is to understand ones own limitations." Taoism E.C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Rottiestyl
Thu, 2011-05-26 16:07
A love starting out as to
A love starting out as to give, free, priceless then somehow turns to ownership.
The joy of two dear friends
with benefits is lost
now we count every syllable
and react to every metaphor
every move watched and critiqued where once it was a creation of the moment. Somehow now has a tinge of predictability. The benefit of the free-ness has turned to demanded expectation. This is what I feel in this piece. I read it 3 times and each time grew a little sadder at how love can turn so quickly to a weight soldered to the heart.
Kim
(V)
Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.
By: K. Mulroney
" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."
Eduardo Cruz
Thu, 2011-05-26 16:28
Kim
thank you for the visit, i just the it interesting to write it using grammar as the subtext.
You got it right, we do try to own what we have been given freely by putting chains of bondage on something that can not be chained. Love will alway free itseff.
Eddie
"To teach with love is to understand ones own limitatons." EC
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE