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Poster boy (Lao Tzu)
“Heaven and earth are like a set of bellows.
Although empty, they are endlessly productive.
The more you work them, the more they produce.
The mouth, on the other hand, becomes exhausted if you talk too much.
Better to keep your thoughts inside you.”
-Lao Tzu
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My mouth entombs me
or sets me free,
in an endless stream of words
Beautiful images in precise words
swirl around my head, when I speak
something else comes out instead
I must be a marvel of science
where the mouth and brain
work in separate universes
They say;
“What you think is not always what you say.”
then I am the poster boy
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Food for thought
Editing stage:
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Comments
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2011-05-28 02:31
I like this Eddie
It sounds really good to me because I can relate, especially this line;
" the mouth, on the other hand, becomes exhausted if you talk too much.
Better to keep your thoughts inside you.”
I have found this to be true for a few other reasons also. lol
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Eduardo Cruz
Sat, 2011-05-28 17:30
Barbara
The wisdom of Taoism is simplicity. If we keep it simple there are no complications and it keeps the worlds negativity out of our life.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Kailashana2
Sat, 2011-05-28 06:03
Eddie, please put the Lao Tzu
Eddie, please put the Lao Tzu quote at the beginning of the poem.
My mouth is an endless stream
of words
Which entombs me or sets me free
(My mouth entombs me
and sets me free,
in an endless stream of words)
[more poetic and to the point']
Beautiful well thought-out ideas
Encompass my brain, but
When I speak something else is heard
(Beautiful images in precise words
swirl around my head, when I speak
something else comes out instead)
[something playful, entertaining is called for here,
maybe a reference to a parrot, etc.]
I must be a marvel of science
Where the mouth and brain
Work in separate universes
(Wow!)
They say;
“What you think is not always what you say.”
Then I am the poster boy
(Wowser!)
~Ac
Eduardo Cruz
Sat, 2011-05-28 17:32
Anna
My partner of the mind and universe, thank you!
It is better with your suggestions.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 00:34
Jay C.
It mostly happens with Jonette and I, try to say something that's in my head to share with her and she says I can't believe you just said that!.Like most men I say: "What did I say?" then she explains it to me and I say; "Baby, that not what I wanted to say, or Baby you misunderstood" So lately I think it best to keep my fuck'en mouth shut, everything seems to go along smoothly between me and her that way. hahaha!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 00:55
Jay C.
Please do get started, because just maybe it's not just me it's a man thing. When we try to express our feelingsabout something we tend to drift like a ship without a crew.
Is that true. I think I try to be a good loving and compassionet man, but there are times when I think I'm an idiot, because I do not understand what she wants. even though I ask her. I think that love can only be if you can understand the wants and needs of the person you love, it is not always perfect. If we pay attention to these things our love ones need out of the relationship, it makes it easyer to love them. maybe I'm wrong and I should just stay in the now (moment) and not think I can always help.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 05:10
ian
This is a first, you did not find anything wrong in my grammar or spelling. I take it is a complement coming from you. I know the eagle eye you have. Hahaha!
thank you my friend.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 22:44
Hahaha!
Hahaha!
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 10:45
Rosi
the stop or period is in the quation. So yes not a full stop for the thought.
it's about saying what you mean, it makes it easier on the one you love. this is not a generaliztion. it is the back and fouth in a relationship.
Thank you
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 22:45
Rosi
"it's all good!"
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
scribbler
Sun, 2011-05-29 16:09
hi Eddie
Could not relate to this at all as I Sever nay other than what I mean.....................Now let me sell you some prime real estate if you believe that lol. The only hitch to me was repeating words which is a bit awkward in a short poem. You could replace first words with speech perhaps................................stan
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 22:47
Stan
I hear you!
I have a few words I'm thinking as a replacement or not , we'll see
thanks
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
brittle light
Sun, 2011-05-29 17:22
this is superb, right up my
this is superb, right up my alley. The theme, and the way you framed it is smart and sharp , concise and transparent,
and makes a vibrant poem.
Al
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 22:48
Al
it's a pleasure to see you on my page.
thank you for the generous comment.
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
lou
Sun, 2011-05-29 17:40
Eddie
The poem flows well until the last stanza, the last doesn't fit smoothly,can't think of a Replacement. At the moment.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-05-29 22:52
lou
the last is not a stanza but rather a statement about me.
there are only three stanza here keeping with the Te Cheng.
So don't worry of a replacement buddy.
thanks you!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
lou
Mon, 2011-05-30 01:26
Eddie
ok i won't lol
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2011-05-30 03:05
hahaha!
hahaha!
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE