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EXPERIMENTAL RESET
Since we're already nearby
lets go and check
that petri dish
The one we cleared and then reseeded
last time we came around
perhaps these results will be better
than the last ones that we found
It's only been a month to us
since last visit to this arm
though speaking in relative terms
about 65 million years
So lets check under that yellow light
at the third dish out
the pretty blue one with white swirls
and see what's come about
Then clean it out and start all over
Again
Weakly free verse time lol
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Kailashana2
Tue, 2011-06-14 14:17
*Weakly* is right. lol.
*Weakly* is right. lol.
Submitted by scribbler on Tue, 2011-06-14 12:50
Since we're already nearby
let's go and check out
that petri dish
The one we cleared and then reseeded
last time we came around
perhaps these results will be better
than those last ones we had found
(that sentence...not quite right)
It's only been a month
since our last visit to his arm
though speaking in relative terms
only about 65 million years
So let's check under that yellow light
at the third dish out
the pretty blue one with white swirls
and see what's come about
Then clean it out and start all over
Again
heheheh. Not on your life! Mr. Space Invader, there are no cookbooks here. ;-) Besides it was only partial free verse. AND it rhymes. ;-)
~
scribbler
Tue, 2011-06-14 18:13
hello
If you read the line the same as you posted it, no wonder it didn't work lol. And here I was thinking free verse left writer free to use or not use rhyme as he saw fit, but what do I know. According to fossil record there has been a mass extinction event approx. every 65 million years for at least 2 cycles. Last on was about 65 million years ago............hmmmm................stan