Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
The Encore
(following http://new.neopoet.com/node/broadway-lovesick-puppies )
..you and me,
that’s all.
the stage is set-
for the second coming,
as I take center-stage
I am
illuminated,
by the spotlight
irradiated,
by the eyes.
imperceptible
in disguise.
the curtain’s lifting
the fog, settling
the lights, dimming.
the spotlight, shifting
to your face.
I act,
for in this act,
I get to touch your lips
with mine.
conceivably, at a point during this act,
my stunted heart started beating for you.
perhaps, gone unnoticed.
by the deafening roar of the crowd
applauding,
cheering,
enticing,
the phony development
of a pseudo-love
cloaking a true love.
(final part of the three poem set can be found here http://new.neopoet.com/node/denouement )
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
this poem follows http://new.neopoet.com/node/broadway-lovesick-puppies
part two of a three part set
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2011-08-15 12:51
keep going,
this is good, you're capturing the moment perfectly in this act of poetry.
Bravo!!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
dhruv
Tue, 2011-08-16 02:42
thank you for the comments,
thank you for the comments, mate :)
Dhruv