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FROM A PUFF OF AIR
A tiny dust devil forms
on the windward side of shorn hay field
in the high heat of mid day
during second week of July
Only betrayed by bits of chaff
barely belt high when born
( and how is that by the way?)
as it randomly staggers
among the heat waver
further
....further
........further
..........into the hot field
As it gains energy from heat
and strength
and size
until it elevates loose straw
nearly out of site
disrupting flight of a careless crow
becoming an insect tornado
Until.......
It crashes into green dense woods
momentarily thrashing limbs
and stripping leaves
in its maelstrom
of dissolution
again I stick my toe into the unfamiliar
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Roscoe Lane
Tue, 2011-07-19 00:21
Maybe,
Maybe unfamiliar, but i could picture this dust devil as i followed it with your words. Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
scribbler
Tue, 2011-07-19 07:34
hi Roscoe
I try to do an unfamiliar form at least once per week to avoid becoming stale and type cast lol. Thanks for the read and comment..........stan
loved
Tue, 2011-07-19 00:51
I DON'T PUFF... NOR DO I BLUFF
BUT BE AWARE
of passive share
puff in no smoking area only!!!!
will ye???
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2011-07-19 07:37
hi loved
2nd layer of this poem refers to those individuals who are all bluff but soon are revealed to be all bluster. Did not expect anybody to catch that secondary meaning................stan