An aching,
in the stirrings
of body and mind...
There it is
palpable!
Like the pounding in my chest.
the pain is fresh
newly born, in its infancy.
I am caught up
in the uneven rhythm
of a heart gone rigid
in the moment
of transformation
from abject torture
to smoking ash,
raining down gray
in the pitiless night...
All because she
laughed at me!
Her mirth has
poisoned my spirit...

(soon, she will learn...)

The white blanket
of the early morning mist
caressed the lake’s glassy surface,
muffling the lonely call
of a distant loon.

The rhythmic squeak-thump
of the oar locks and
the gentle splash of the blades
were the only other sounds
that broke the stillness.

The tangy scent of pine
mixed with the earthy smell
of decaying leaves
as the dock and shore
receded in the boat’s wake.

You lean against your car
As I stand in front of you

Eyes locked on eyes
It's time to say goodbye

"Goodnight" I whisper as
I turn to walk away

"Wait" you whisper back
As you walk towards me

I turn back around to see you
Standing there

You grab my arm
And pull me in for a hug

Soft and gentle
Your touch lingered on my arm
Letting me go as slowly as possible

Just like my dream...

still is the night
no sounds of rain
or soft landing flakes
not one tweeting bird
no bunnies dash with haste
i couldn’t hear a mouse
i couldn’t see my own face
in the stillness of the night

not one disturbance
with the exception of i
though i lay awake
resting in my own hide
a growing belly and a chest ever so tight
we must not disturb
the still of the night

It's forever the rainbow
But never the rain
Everyone adores joy
But everybody despises pain

The sun gets all the praise
The moon is deemed dark
Street lights are vibrant
The differences are stark

What I'm trying to say
If you haven't figured it out
All focus on happiness
As for me, I don't doubt

Without the darkness of night
We wouldn't appreciate the sun
We wouldn't know absence of sorrow
If we lived our lives having none

I ripped my heart from my chest
and it turned to ash in my hand.

Still standing,
still breathing,
I watched as the wind blew it away.

I'm damned to this earth,
forever.

Heartless, cold, worthless excuse for a human.
If I am even that anymore.

Nicotine yellow tin ceilings
dark cupboards, blue-white table top
I see them now, in my dreams
with the love that never stopped

Gran's kitchen shared with aunt Kitty
The smell of something sweet
swing music from the radio
the gentle tapping of her feet

My world was there, heart of the house
or in the dry grass of the yard
I have lunch on the porch with my sissy
she falls asleep; from playing too hard

What Gets Me Through

You, my irreverent Steven
get me through the day,
preparing me for the night
It has always been your way.

Sometimes the sunlit hours
take their toll on me.
The ugliness of news stories
get me down, make me want to flee.

That's where you come in,
you rescue me with a smile.
Your kindness runs deep,
I stop, basking for awhile.

When each new day starts
I open my eyes to see your face,
feel your loving heart near me.
In your love I find a higher grace!

Stay.
No one waits for you
Out in that cold night
Where blindness reigns.
Stay.
Tomorrow we can wake together
On a bed of elation,
Recounting this white night's
Magic

Look not forward.
Look not back.
Focus on today.

Forward, ever-shrinking,
Will erode your will.
Focus on today.

Backward, stretching into haze,
Can lead one to regret.
Focus on today.

Today, here only control exists,
To share a life with those you love.
Focus on today.