still is the night
no sounds of rain
or soft landing flakes
not one tweeting bird
no bunnies dash with haste
i couldn’t hear a mouse
i couldn’t see my own face
in the stillness of the night

not one disturbance
with the exception of i
though i lay awake
resting in my own hide
a growing belly and a chest ever so tight
we must not disturb
the still of the night

It's forever the rainbow
But never the rain
Everyone adores joy
But everybody despises pain

The sun gets all the praise
The moon is deemed dark
Street lights are vibrant
The differences are stark

What I'm trying to say
If you haven't figured it out
All focus on happiness
As for me, I don't doubt

Without the darkness of night
We wouldn't appreciate the sun
We wouldn't know absence of sorrow
If we lived our lives having none

I ripped my heart from my chest
and it turned to ash in my hand.

Still standing,
still breathing,
I watched as the wind blew it away.

I'm damned to this earth,
forever.

Heartless, cold, worthless excuse for a human.
If I am even that anymore.

Nicotine yellow tin ceilings
dark cupboards, blue-white table top
I see them now, in my dreams
with the love that never stopped

Gran's kitchen shared with aunt Kitty
The smell of something sweet
swing music from the radio
the gentle tapping of her feet

My world was there, heart of the house
or in the dry grass of the yard
I have lunch on the porch with my sissy
she falls asleep; from playing too hard

What Gets Me Through

You, my irreverent Steven
get me through the day,
preparing me for the night
It has always been your way.

Sometimes the sunlit hours
take their toll on me.
The ugliness of news stories
get me down, make me want to flee.

That's where you come in,
you rescue me with a smile.
Your kindness runs deep,
I stop, basking for awhile.

When each new day starts
I open my eyes to see your face,
feel your loving heart near me.
In your love I find a higher grace!

Stay.
No one waits for you
Out in that cold night
Where blindness reigns.
Stay.
Tomorrow we can wake together
On a bed of elation,
Recounting this white night's
Magic

Look not forward.
Look not back.
Focus on today.

Forward, ever-shrinking,
Will erode your will.
Focus on today.

Backward, stretching into haze,
Can lead one to regret.
Focus on today.

Today, here only control exists,
To share a life with those you love.
Focus on today.

Sweep the first few flakes away
No matter, soon much more
Oh no, here it comes
We will win this battle today
Shovels ready, and salted sidewalks
Tea and coffee breaks
Overtime will be allowed
Repeat those old mistakes
Mash the gas to beat the crowd

Steaming hot oatmeal
A cup of coffee light
to chase away the cobwebs
gathered in the night

T.V. news and weather girls
Local headlines here
Ads for cleaning products
Some for artificial tears

Gameshows, full of people
looking to make a buck
Sneering fashionistas
getting by with ....s

Who are all these people?
Do they live next door?
I've seen them out my window
Are they bringing us their war?

Grief comes in waves
So they say

It's more like a tsunami
Or like getting hit by a freight train

It's powerful
Heart stopping
Gut wrenching
Drop to your knees kind of pain

It makes you cry
so hard
you can't breathe

It makes you
so heavy
you can't lift yourself
out of bed

It shocks you
into a state of paralysis

It feels like
nothing
can pull you ashore
and rescue you
from the crashing weight of the water

Save for one more tear...