Leather coated in gray stains.

The mug, is laying on the floor, the coffee.

Is spilling out.

The wolf, slowly, comes closer.

But,

I can’t stop my emotions
They eat at my heart
Can’t slow down the thoughts
Gonna rip me apart

Maybe I’m crazy
Damage already done
I feel all fucked up
Maybe ‘mother’ has won

Can’t seem to settle
My thoughts won’t slow down
Frustrations taking over
My face it does frown

Hate feeling this way
I hate being me
I can’t fucking handle it
Can’t anyone see

Wish I could end it
Wish I had the guts
But I only take pills
So maybe I’m nuts

White tablecloth. Is that You Teddy ?
On the sky since years there were no clouds.

The table and the tablecloth. Teddy bear and Me.

Home, which, had never seen the clouds.
Me, a person, careful.

Will I never again see the leaves or the clouds.

She’d lived all alone ever since her husband passed away,
Her kids were all grown up and had long since moved away…
She kept a bible by her bed which every night she read,
And she took to heart every word she knew that Jesus said…

She lived a simple life, she didn’t need too much,
She had friends who were kind and they always stayed in touch…
Eighty years had passed her by but she still had her health,
She considered that to be her most important wealth

I went down south up to North Caroline,
Curving through straight lines dotted on I-95,
Swerving between feeling ok and losing my mind,
Just trying to leave my tattered troubles behind,
And far away.

I packed a light bag with a heavy mind,
Spurning thoughts churned up from deep inside,
I flew in my car on the ground just killing time,
Just trying to get away from everything close behind,
For maybe a day.

Destined to be love's fool
Used and abused until I'm a blunt tool.
Like the serpents of old that spit and drool
Love swallows me whole
As ancient majestic snake do
Just to cough me out into her chamber pot
Where I am but one with her stool,
Reduced to nothing but sadness and rot,
I wallow in her slime and grime
To find rock bottom there were hell lies
In my sad state, heaving heavy sighs
I can't help but stare into her remorseless eyes
Where upon I glimpse a terrible beauty in her hate

Take away my eyes,
I will not see!
Take away my ears,
I will not hear!
Take away my heart,
I will not feel!
Take away my soul,
I will not fear!
Take away my hands,
I will not touch!
Take away my mouth,
I will not speak!
Take away my legs,
I will not run!
Take away my inner child,
I will not know fun!
Take away memories,
And I will have none.
Take it all!

There’s nothing left for
me to have, or give!
Take my life,
So I will not live!

Aviana, a ray of sunshine
with precious eyes of blue
A beautiful little baby,
fresh as morning dew

She lit the room with her smile
she served joy to every bowl
Her family saw the stars in her
this little beautiful soul...

Daddy was the king of her castle
he made her world so bright
He made sure that he was home
to tuck her in each night

Her brothers' eyes upon her
not playing at protection
they loved to help her play
showered her with affection

THE WARNING

Before I opened the book, I guessed
The warning on the cover said it all
Beware all you who read these pages
A black arts tome across all the ages
Just listen, and one can hear the call
One should prepare for a magic fest

The first page showed a hieroglyph
And I traced it slowly with my finger
I felt a strange tingling in my hand
A meaning I would not understand
I paused and let that feeling linger
But then my whole fist went all stiff

I had a chat with Myself today, It was a most serious chat indeed. There was a question I needed to ask, And Myself could answer that need.