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Waking Up Naked
They wake up naked
Bereft of morals; ethics
The carnage took place
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2024-10-11 23:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, "Waking Up Naked," is a succinct and intriguing piece that seems to explore themes of vulnerability, morality, and perhaps aftermath of certain events.
The first line, "They wake up naked," is a strong opener that immediately draws attention and raises questions. The use of the word "naked" could be interpreted literally, but it could also be symbolic of vulnerability or exposure.
The second line, "Off decency and morals," is somewhat ambiguous. The use of the preposition "off" is unconventional in this context, which may lead to confusion. If the intention is to convey a departure from decency and morals, perhaps a different preposition such as "without" or "bereft of" could be more effective.
The final line, "A carnage took place," is a powerful conclusion that suggests a significant event or conflict has occurred. However, the use of the indefinite article "a" before "carnage" is unusual, as "carnage" is typically used as an uncountable noun. Removing the article might enhance the impact of this line.
Overall, the poem is thought-provoking and leaves much to the reader's interpretation. However, some adjustments could be made to improve clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-10-12 06:43
Dear Rula,
This poem says so much, a whole world of emotion in three short lines...You make me feel so much, I tremble...
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-10-12 06:44
p.s.
good luck on the contest!
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rula
Sat, 2024-10-12 07:23
Thank you
dearest Cat.
It's a horrible world. Lots is going on here.No words are satisfying enough.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-10-12 07:26
I do not know...
how you do it,living with that every day! You are one of my heros.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rula
Sat, 2024-10-12 07:26
Thank you
Dearest friend.
It's a horrible world here. No words are satisfying enough. I'm trying to tell the world what is going on here and that's the least to do.
Thank you for your kind visit.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-10-12 07:30
you are very welcome! I feel
you are very welcome! I feel I owe it to myself to find out more on this horror.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Sat, 2024-10-12 13:02
I understand...
the feeling of waking up naked. Although not on the same scale that your country has, we have our troubles too. The world looks at us as being the ideal, with many freedoms, but they come at serious cost to our image. The freedom to say anything you want, without fear of retribution, leads to many untrue things being said and from there, violence and heartbreak. I think that as a race of beings, [the human race as a whole] we have much to learn in regard to getting along with each other and maybe not killing all of us. Nice job of showing us the troubles of your country. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Rula
Sat, 2024-10-12 13:33
Sir Gee
I too understand what you mean. I never thought that there is an ideal place on this earth.
I know troubles are everywhere but with different colours. What I wrote comes after a long chat with a friend who urged me to write about what's going out here. I also know that many are not interested and may consider it as kind of blaming or complaining (which is not the case)
I appreciate your thoughts and the kind visit.
Many thanks sir.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Michael Anthony
Sat, 2024-10-12 23:28
Thoughts are with you Rula,
Thoughts are with you Rula, and hoping peace may soon come to the region. Be safe and keep sharing.
Best
Michael Anthony
Rula
Sun, 2024-10-13 10:58
Thank you sir
Prayers, lots of them are needed, And appreciated.
Thank you
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Leslie
Sun, 2024-10-13 03:49
Rula...
A very succinct and creative metaphor. The world by and large is an evil place. I belieeve someone or something will come to clean things up. That being said it takes nothing away from the suffering going on out where you are. Like those before me I pray that you are safe and can continue to bless us with your words!
Our dreams lost! Lost on an ocean of turmoil! Soon a solution will arrive! Until then I will write!
Rula
Sun, 2024-10-13 11:00
Dear friend
You are absolutely right. Every word you said speaks volumes to me.
I appreciate your wishes and the prayers.
Thank you
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Lavender
Tue, 2024-10-15 21:26
Waking Up Naked
Well said, Rula.
xxx
L
Rula
Thu, 2024-10-17 12:51
Thank you
my dear friend!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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