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sonnet +1
on yon cerulean sisters
this heart discovers a pumice in apiary
ring wings of inkling curtains
fleece cloud like fanlight
bird rainbows covert
of sky-light reeds
mauve descendants splay
velvet illumined concussions
lace of the swift attic brew
like dew temperamental befall
charlatans bruised in hope
pore fire hush mildewed
to sapphire cobbled wires
on stone shone gales flit
pearly heatwaves - this Dorset gift
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Lonnie
Sat, 2014-05-10 10:17
Hi there!
First one of yours I have read and it impressed me quite nicely! Hope you are well over in Nigeria, and I will be looking forward to reading more of your work!
emeka ozurumba
Sat, 2014-05-10 10:29
thanks, and yours truly, I'm
thanks, and yours truly, I'm reading your work also and i like it, hope to hear more from you
bloke
Sun, 2014-05-11 20:40
Well
Well, I'm going to read all of your work now. I'm still contemplating this one, and will likely continue to throughout the day. I can't offer critique as your skill level is far beyond mine.
Thank you for the write.
Brent.
BF
emeka ozurumba
Fri, 2014-05-16 08:37
in the poem , on yon cerulean
in the poem , on yon cerulean sisters is a metaphor for the clouds, glad you liked the read