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Ms. Dog
It came upon me
like a slow breeze,
soft and cool with a ghostly swirl
giving a slight tug at the visions
once safely locked away
as
skin pushed back against the blade
until it split with time and turned
colors against one another
And me, all the while,
wondering
if the scar
would match my sweater
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Wed, 2014-08-27 12:15
This grabbed my attention Scott!
and you had me google "Ms. Dog", and there goes the story.
I wanted to share the link, but wasn't sure if it's a good idea.
You have weaved the story with so much beauty.
But then that last line got me thinking (me sweater?)
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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eightmenout
Wed, 2014-08-27 14:18
Rula
Thanks again for stopping by. I have edited the last line of the poem. It was just a typo.
Scott
Scott
Esker
Wed, 2014-08-27 13:32
the weave....
broadloom of color
the stitch the thread.
sweaters on the coast
were done by wool
the fishermen going out
and coming in from
calamity
identify them with the sweaters
the rocks fish time doing their
work to erase them
as time erases each of us
how we weave our lives
our scars against the
tantamount righteous
ideals we carve in false idols
and our worshipful zen for
things of physical attainment
and wonder
i like how the writing is forming
up here on neopoet of late
the greater challenges as i get
my works underway
abstractions and then a coming
in......
i like the pondering here
and weightiness of write
thank you
eightmenout
Wed, 2014-08-27 14:22
Steve
Thanks for stopping by and having a read. Poetry has almost felt like a chore as of late, then a little tidal wave of words came. Wish they would never end, but alas, i don't get to make the rules. Or do I?
Scott
Scott
Esker
Wed, 2014-08-27 14:27
dog tracking....
been with the dog...following others prints.
thinking about convos i have..
threading the trails all tangled..
there is a beginning and an ending
like a movie or book
the good ones are a tapestry weave
we want to see the order even in the
chaos...
thematics..
i spent time following dreams
that become grand
i have that personality thing
that gets blown open all the time
into the opus
but..
when said and done
its not about my rules
it will arrive again
that whole patience thing
i can rush it
bang things about
send them out
looking for my own
quests...
but ultimately
it arrives
on its own
whatever the muse is
as long as it is..
thank you
eightmenout
Fri, 2014-08-29 12:46
Steve
I have to apologize. Sometimes I just don't have the words to respond to your comments. Except to say thank you for taking the time to read them and even more so comment.
thanks,
Scott
Scott
weirdelf
Thu, 2014-08-28 14:07
Oh dear,
If this is what I think it is, I wonder, oh I wonder, but for the lovely use of language. How does it sound to you?
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/ms-dog-by-eightmenout
cheers,
Jess
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eightmenout
Fri, 2014-08-29 10:33
I am curious as to what
I am curious as to what everyone thinks this poem is about. Please PM me your thoughts.
Thanks,
Scott
Scott
eightmenout
Fri, 2014-08-29 12:02
My version of the read for
My version of the read for what it is worth https://soundcloud.com/eightmenout/ms-dog
Scott
wesley snow
Fri, 2014-08-29 12:07
This was just a little confusing for me.
As always though, the language is superb.
As for it being a chore... I understand. There are times when the poems all but write themselves and others where we must drag ourselves through. One of the things I have found is that regardless of the difficulty in the write both the easy and the hard turn out the same. Just keep plugging and it will change.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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eightmenout
Fri, 2014-08-29 13:10
Thank you for the compliment
Thank you for the compliment on the language (although I suspect that is to entice me into a workshop). Sorry this one was a little confusing. Anything I can do to clean it up and make it more clear?
Scott
Scott
eightmenout
Fri, 2014-08-29 13:11
As for writing feeling like a
As for writing feeling like a chore. I imagine you are correct that it all comes out the same. There's just not many feelings that are better than kicking out a good poem with very little effort.
Scott
Scott